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I’m no good for her. I’ve proven that over and over again. Her latest tumble, the most obvious proof. The pain I’ve caused her, indirectly or not, is hard to come back from. Hard to see past. Hard to forgive. Hard to forget.
For the past five years, I went out of my way to avoid her. When I couldn’t, I went out of my way to make her feel like she meant nothing to me. In truth, she meant the world. Every day she seeped in further.
I couldn’t fight her out of me.
I couldn’t fuck her out of me.
I couldn’t knock her loose.
She’s here to stay.
Even if I end up calloused and alone, she’ll still be with me.
Even if she ends up with a guy like Rowdy, she’ll still be mine.
My Angel. My own personal hell.
“Hey.”
I scrub my face and blink up into the eyes of a concerned Cap. “You need to rest. Shower. Eat.”
“I’m good.” I’m not leaving her side.
“It wasn’t a suggestion.”
I chuckle my dissent. “I’m not up for taking orders, Cap.”
He grips my shoulder, bending down so we’re eye to eye. “I know you’re worried. But running yourself into the ground is not going to help her when she wakes up. She needs you strong and not smelling like a ripe locker room.” He straightens up. “Now, get your ass out of the chair before I have you removed.”
“Fine.” I stand, pocketing my phone. “I’ll shower and eat, but I’m not sleeping anywhere but at her side.”
I find Rowdy in the waiting room. His feet are propped up, head back, eyes staring at nothing. I nudge his shoulder. “Come on.”
He jumps to attention. “Where?”
“Food. Shower.”
“Nah, I’m good.”
Nodding my understanding, I note his tired eyes and disheveled state. Maybe we both could use a little sleep, too. “I don’t want to leave either. But she’ll need us when she wakes up. She needs us strong and healthy.” I pull him toward the exit. “Which requires we sacrifice being by her side for a few hours.”
He follows, his reluctance equaling mine. Neither of us want to leave, afraid of what will happen if we do.
“She’ll be fine,” he offers.
“Yep.”
“I believe that.” I’m not sure who he’s trying to convince. Me or him.
“Me too.”
“You don’t seem like you believe it.”
“My Angel’s strong. She’ll bounce back. She always does.”
“Then, what’s wrong?”
I unlock the car, motioning him to get in. Once we’re on the road to their hotel—the suite he’s kept even though he hasn’t stepped foot in the door since the accident—I offer up my truth. “She’s better off without me.”
