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“And?” Lili prompts.
“I think he’s an idiot for letting Frankie go.”
“Agreed.” She smiles, satisfied with his answer.
“He didn’t let me go. I told him to leave.”
She pats my knee. “Semantics. He could have fought for you.”
Yep, he could have, but he didn’t.I battle another wave of tears. I’m going to blame it on the pregnancy and not my weak backbone when it comes to all things Gabriel.
“Stay for lunch? Lasagna’s in the oven.”
She smiles at the two of us. “Love to.”
IT’S BEEN FIVE DAYS SINCE Iwalked away from my Angel. They say it’ll get better with time. I don’t believe it. My dark thoughts and the hole in my chest only grow each day I can’t get a glimpse of her. When I was deployed, there were hours, days she didn’t come to mind. It was a peaceful reprieve, my thoughts occupied with staying alive or saving the lives of others. There was nothing peaceful about that time except the breaks I got from wanting her.
The idea of finding peace again is nearly enough to make me reenlist. But that’s stupid talk. Running away from her and into the peril of deployment would be a suicide mission. I am many things, but suicidal is not one of them.
Besides, I’m a different man now. She changed me. I doubt any emergency could pull her fully from my mind, my gut, or my cock that only wants her. She’s ruined me, and I’m pissed as hell about it. Which isn’t really a bad thing if you’re a fighter. I’ve been training hard, harder than ever. Cap sent Jonah to Vegas with me. Coach stayed back to continue training the other guys in Lyndale, where my other half works and lives—in my house.
Even though I offered, I resent her for living there, in my space, the space I shared with her. The space where I brought her to heal when Austin hurt her in ways I never would. Though, in the end, I hurt her in my own unique way. If she’s feeling the pain of our separation half as much as I am, I don’t envy those around her. My Angel lashes out when she’s hurting. The idea of me being the cause is a difficult burden to carry. But carry it I do, as my penance. Though the idea of her taking out her frustrations on those assholes who get to see her every day nearly brings a smile to my stone-cold face. Nearly.
“Gabriel, get a move on,” Jonah’s voice echoes through the locker room.
“Coming.”
I step into the training room to a scowling Jonah and a nervous newbie—not new to the sport, but new to me—by the name of…Fuck, I forgot his name.Doesn’t matter, I’ll knock him on his ass like I did to the guys who came before him. He won’t come back—at least not to spar with me.
Jonah halts my progress with a firm hand on my chest. “Listen.” He pushes, garnering my dead stare. “He’s a sparring partner. The point is for you to use him to test yourself, to work your skills, to get you ready for your match.”
“Yeah,” I grunt.
“So, knocking him out in the first few minutes defeats our goal and scares everyone from wanting to get in the ring with you.” He pushes hard enough for me to take a step back. “Got me?”
I slap his hand off. “Maybe you need to find tougher guys.”
“Maybe you need to lighten the fuck up and stop taking your breakup with Frankie out on them.”
“Cap taught me to use my anger.”
“Yeah, in the octagon, not to kill sparring partners.”
Melodramatic much? Whatever.“Are we doing this?” I could just as easily beat the shit out of the bag than deal with these pansy-asses. I miss Walker and Sloan. They could take whatever I unleashed. They never won, but they sure as fuck didn’t whine about it and not come back the next day.
Obviously exasperated, he steps aside, letting me pass. “Don’t kill ‘em.”
“No promises.”
I’ve got the kid in a chokehold he should’ve escaped in seconds—I’m barely trying here, it’s like I’mhissparring partner to helphimget ready for a big fight instead of the other way around—when I see a familiar face enter the gym. I release the kid and roll away, jumping to my feet, and watch Austin cross the training room floor like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Like he hasn’t left the best part of him behind.
I guess I was wrong. He never saw Frankie for the gem she is. Maybe he knew her too long. Maybe growing up with her made her seem like a given, like he had a right to take all he wanted before discarding her when someone new and exciting came along. From what I’ve gathered, there were quite a fewnew and exciting thingswho caught his eye over the years.Piece of shitis all I can think as he disappears inside the locker room.
“You’re done,” I throw over my shoulder to the kid as I leap the ropes, landing easily on the other side, stalking to where Jonah glares at me. “You need to find me some real heavyweight competition. No more of these kids. If you have to, tell Cap to send me one of the new guys he brought to Lyndale.”
I step past him and pause. “Not Rowdy. He stays there.” I pin him over my shoulder. “I need a challenge, Jonah. I’ve got seven weeks, and at this rate I’m better off conditioning and taking on a boxing bag than these dipshits.”
I leave him to stew as he grumbles some response I can’t make out. I’m so over it, I can’t even be bothered to find out.
