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“Of course, but not until after his fight. He’s made it clear he doesn’t want kids. I wouldn’t feel right keeping it from him, but there’s no reason to sidetrack his focus when he’s so close to his goal.”
“Yeah.” She sighs. “I can see why you wanted to keep this to yourself.” She grips my hand, leaning into me, shoulder to shoulder. “I hate that you’ve been going through this on your own.”
“Not entirely on my own,” I admit.
“Oh?”
Please don’t be hurt.“Rowdy figured it out pretty quickly. When he asked, I couldn’t lie to him. He’s been my rock.”
Her eyes lower, and she bites her lower lip. “I’m glad.” She sounds anything but happy about it.
“I’m sorry. I really did want to tell you.”
She nods, repeatedly. She’s got my bobblehead impression down. “I know.” She swipes at the corner of her eyes. “I get it.” She locks eyes with me. “I really do. I’m just sad I couldn’t be there for you. Not hurt you didn’t tell me.”
Thank God!
“So, the shocker…”
“Besides being preggo?” She eyes me expectantly.
“Yeah, besides that.” I grip her hand, linking our fingers. “Rowdy asked me to marry him.”
“What?!” She squeezes my hand so hard I struggle to get free.
“I know, right? Totally out of left field.” Her silence has me turning to face her. “Right?”
“Not really. It’s obvious you’re good friends. He cares for you.” She shrugs. “It’s not a big leap to see you guys going from friendship to… More.”
“But we aren’tmore.”
“But you could be.”
I blow out a punch of air, my lips vibrating in the process, as I sink down on the couch. “He kissed me.” He did more than kiss me. He turned me on.
“And?”
“It was hot.”Really hot.
“But?”
“But he’s not Gabriel. He’ll never be Gabriel. And I’m not ready to give up on the idea of there being an us. At least not until he closes the door permanently, after I tell him about the baby.”
“In the meantime?”
“In the meantime, I tell Darkboyno. I can’t ask him to give up his future for me and my baby. Even if Gabriel wants nothing to do with us. I have to believe there’s someone out there who wants me for me and not out of obligation or sacrifice.” I lay my head in Lili’s lap, and she strokes my hair. “Besides, Rowdy deserves a girl who fell in love with him from the get-go. Not someone who has tolearnto love him. He might turn me on, but at this point—” I rub my belly, “—this little one is making my hormones so crazy, I think a stiff breeze could get me off.”
“God, I remember those days.” She wags her brows. “Some of the best times too. Donovan can’t wait to knock me up again just for the hot pregnancy sex.”
“Please.” I brush her off. “You guys do it like rabbits as it is.”
“Yeah, but a pregnancy orgasm—or should I sayorgasms—is not to be missed.” She sighs at the thought. Her hand rests on my baby bump that’s becoming more prominent every day. “You need to get yourself a toy, or hit Rowdy up for some pregnancy sex. You may not want to marry him, but you two could enjoy the rest of your pregnancy like nobody’s business.”
“I think sex would take our friendship way past the friendship zone. A kiss we can come back from, but fucking like monkeys, probably not.”
“I see your point.”
A knock at the sliding door brings me to a sitting position as our food is placed on the table.
