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The moment I turned toward the doors that lead into Malyr’s personal rooms, Asker said, “She can never bond herself to you.”
“Nothing much changed then.” I’d known that before, and it hadn’t kept me from wanting to be with her. And now? Well, now my heart was too far gone to care. “Except for one thing: he damaged their fate to a degree that she might never bond herself to him, either.”
ChapterNine
Galantia
Present Day, Tidestone
Ipushed the window of my room open, letting a briny gust of wind bite at my cheeks, but at least that braid I’d pinned tightly against my scalp stayed put. Far below, a fresh layer of powdery snow stretched from the wall of the keep, up along those gray stones, and all the way along the cliff that rounded the bay where the sun was slowly setting. How many seconds would a fall take before one’s skull splintered on those rocks? Five? Nine?
I had no intentions of finding out and glanced down at my outfit. Brown cotton trousers I’d stolen from the male servants’ quarters, a snug-fitting tunic I had shoved into the waistband so the wind wouldn’t catch on the excess fabric, and the sturdiest of my old winter boots I’d managed to find… this should keep me from falling to my death. And if not? Well, then I could always shift and fly to that window to my left at the far end of this wall.
The chancery.
A room where Lord Brisden met with his officers and advisors between maps, battle reports, and strategy tables. After I’d rummaged through his and Mother’s—no…Lady Brisden—personal rooms with no success, this was the only place left where Lord Brisden could possibly keep my amulet. The problem?
Ever since Tidestone had started preparing for the Raven’s attack, a guard had been posted outside the chancery’s door to oversee the constant coming and going. One who’d kept his stare on me when Lord Brisden had asked me into the room earlier, interrogating me on all things Raven. How many deathweavers did Malyr command? How many siege weapons would Lord Taradur bring? Had the Ravens mentioned any strategic details to me?
I had answered all of Lord Brisden’s questions—and no surprise, none of them to his satisfaction. Not that I had expected anything different other than to disappoint him, but I took no grief with that anymore. No, I had quite enjoyed watching the anger redden his cheeks, and had offered to open the window so he may take some fresh air, like the useless but kind daughter I was. He hadn’t even noticed that, upon closing the window again, I had not locked it.
Summoning every bit of courage I possessed, I swung a leg over the window’s edge, my fingers white-knuckled around the frost-covered stone sill. My heart hammered an insistent rhythm in my chest as I climbed outside, each beat a reminder of the risk I was taking. The cold, harsh stone of the exterior bit into my palms, the icy sting grounding me in my reckless resolve.
With my hips angled so one knee would follow behind the other, I moved forward along the narrow stone. I loaded my left arm with the majority of the weight of my upper body, shifting my balance toward the wall. Stone scraped over the cotton covering my shoulder, and the snow along my path ached my knuckles. Gods, it was cold!
A sudden, fierce gust of wind tore along the wall, ripping at me with icy fingers, making me gasp and cling to the chilled stone. My heart stuttered in my chest as I fought a steady breath, the air sharp in my lungs.Do not look down. Just… crawl forward.
“I am a Raven,” I muttered to myself. “Wind is to my wings what the wave is to a ship: a persistent companion, sometimes caressing, other times chastising, but always essential in the journey.”
If I fell, I would shift.
If I fell, I would fly.
And would that not have been preferable instead of shoving myself along this castle in the midst of winter, one inch after another? Yes. I could soar to the chancery window, have my unkindness slip in, and shift into my human form at the center of the room…
… naked.
I let out a groan at that oversight, but continued. Without shadowcloth or enchantments like they used at Deepmarsh, there was a valid chance that I—should I be unable to shift for my return—would have to crawl along the castle wall with my naked ass rivaling the paleness of the snow. No matter. I was making good progress, even without my unkindn—
My leg slipped off the ledge.
The world pitched violently, my heart seizing in a chokehold between my lungs. With a grunt, I flung my weight against the wall, my hands scrambling over the frozen stone, my fingers clawing for hold.Calm, Galantia. Calm! If you fall, you shift. If you fall, you fly.
Except… I didn’t shift.
Panic, raw and visceral, scraped along my throat. Why wasn’t I… Oh gods, why wasn’t I shifting? There was no blast of white feathers, no ocean of color, no ravens… only the sharp intake of frozen air, the piercing cold, and the heart-stopping realization that I was clinging to life on a wind-battered ledge.
I forced myself to take a deep, steadying breath. “Don’t look down. Don’t look down. Don’t you fucking look down.”
Clasping my fingers tighter around the edge of the stone to my right, I struggled my leg back up, no matter how my muscles ached, burned, tired. It found its footing on the ledge once more, giving me a moment of reprieve. What now? The chancery window was still an impossible stretch away, the distance much bigger than the one back to my room. Without being able to shift, this was much too dangerous.
Crawling retreat it was, then.
I began my torturous return to my window. With a sure grip and a bracing inhale, I pushed myself backward, my fingers closing around a protrusion in the stone, the sharp edge biting into my skin, almost unbearably. But I clung on, inch by creeping inch, moving with a deliberate slowness.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity hanging on the precipice of falling to my death, my fingertips brushed the familiar wood of my window. A sigh of relief escaped my chapped lips. I carefully maneuvered myself back through the window, only to allow my body to slip off the ledge and collapse with athudon the table that stood there. How would I get into the chancery?
I stared at the ceiling, the warm glow from the crackling hearth like an inferno against my chilled cheek. Without my ravens to carry me to that window, or at least keep me from dying should I fall, there was no way for me to sneak into the chancery. Not without drawing even more of Lord Brisden’s suspicion, and I already had enough of that.
