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We ate in silence interspersed with happy family banter, and I soaked it up with a smile. I hadn’t had a meal like this since James and I were still in school. I had occasional meals with him and his kids now, but it was usually on more formal occasions. It was fun, sitting around a casual meal and just enjoying the noisy company of a family.
By the time we made it to the school, Ethan was yawning and Olivia was a bundle of nerves. As soon as I joined them in the parking lot, she slipped her little hand into mine and clung to it as we approached the doors.
“Are you nervous?” I asked her gently.
She nodded, as if afraid to use her voice to speak.
“What scares you the most?”
“Being in front of all those people, singing bad, and then everyone makes fun of me.” She answered immediately, as if this scenario was already clear as day in her mind.
“Okay, then let me give you a bit of advice.” I crouched down so I could look her straight in the eye. “If you’re nervous at first, just move your mouth to the words, but don’t make any noise. That way, itlookslike you’re singing, but no one will know you’re notactuallysinging. Then, when you feel a little more confident, you can sing in a tiny baby voice, and as you get more confident, you can sing as loud as you’re supposed to. Does that sound like a plan?”
She nodded again with wide eyes, then threw her little arms around my neck. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“There’s nowhere I’d rather be. I’m so happy you invited me,” I answered. “If you’re really nervous, you can look at me, okay?”
“Okay.”
I stood, and she clasped my hand again, not releasing it until we made it into the school auditorium. When her teacher came to collect her, I gave her one more swift hug. “You’ll be great. It’s okay to be nervous, Olivia. Just remember that everyone else is nervous too, and everyone in the audience watching is super proud of you.”
“Are you proud of me?”
“You know I am. Go on, you’ll do great!”
She flashed me a wide smile, then trotted off in the direction her teacher pointed.
We sat through the whole concert, and I held my gaze on Olivia the entire concert. She smiled and gave me the ‘thumb’s up’ when she took the stage. I couldn’t tell if she actually sang or not, but I saw her eyes rarely strayed from mine, and she smiled the entire time.
* * *
At Ethanand Olivia’s insistence, I returned to their home for hot cocoa after the concert. Jake’s parents excused themselves pretty quickly, and then before I could leave, the kids insisted I help tuck them in to bed.
My heart swelled—I adored kids, but I had never experienced this before. It felt warm and sweet, to read them a story, pull the covers up to their little chins, and kiss their foreheads goodnight. We left their rooms lit with spinning stars from clever little lamps, and the sounds of ocean waves.
“It helps them fall asleep anywhere,” Jake explained. “You can’t always guarantee silence, but if they’re trained to a certain sound, you can practically put them to bed in a war zone.”
And he was right; when we checked on them a few minutes later, they were both out cold.
Jake eased their doors closed, and we returned to the living room and our cocoa.
He turned off the overhead lights, leaving just a floor lamp to complement the fire. His fireplace was gas, too, and it put off a warm glow that settled over me like a blanket.
“I love your house,” I complimented him, leaning back on the couch. “It’s very cozy.”
Jake, seated so close our thighs were touching, laughed. “Isn’t that rich people speak for ‘small?’”
I swatted his arm. “No, I’m not being condescending. I mean it. It feels… comfortable here. Sometimes I feel like my place is kind of cold. The tall ceilings are pretty during the day, but at night it feels like an endless cave. And my house looks like a showroom, with next to no evidence that I live there outside of my bedroom.”
“It is a little devoid of your sunny personality,” he agreed. “Why is that?”
I shrugged, taking another sip of my cocoa. “Honestly? I rarely hang out there. Usually I’m out doing something at the resort, or in town, or if I’m just hanging out, it’s at Tessa’s house. She’s got this whole modern, cozy cabin thing down pat. I guess I never bothered because I’m never there.”
“I suppose,” Jake started slowly, “if I were alone, and I didn’t have a family, my place might look a lot like yours. Nice, neat, every surface clean. I imagine it’s hard to make someplace feel like home when it’s just you. Since I have Ethan and Olivia, it’s super important to me for them to feel like they have a home.”
“And you’ve done a great job,” I insisted. “This place is very inviting.”
“You know what else is inviting?” He asked in a low voice that made my breath hitch. “Your mouth.” He took my mug gently and set it down on the coffee table, then leaned in closer, his eyes glossy in the semi-darkness.
