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“You smell like heaven, Ellie,” he purred, hooking his fingers into the lace band and pulling it down my legs until I was completely exposed. With gentle strokes, he worked his fingers up the soft flesh of my thighs, until I was shaking, positively quivering in desperation for release.
I gazed down at him as he settled between my legs. His eyes locked on mine while he wrapped his arms around my hips. When the heat of his mouth finally met my aching flesh, I released a low moan and my hips rose of their own volition, searching for more pressure.
Jake groaned, the reverberation sending electric tingles through my body, and tightened his grip on my hips more firmly, locking me in place.
His movements become more forceful, hungry, as he worked the spot guaranteed to make me see stars.
I wasn’t sure if it was the slow, deliberate way he led me down this path tonight that wound me up so tightly, or the repeated encounters over the last several weeks that never reached a pinnacle. But it seemed he brought me to fireworks far faster than I would have thought. My body shuddered, a desperate plea of, “Oh, god, Jake!” pouring from my lips as I clenched his hair between my fingers and light burst behind my eyelids. The ocean waves faded from my ears; all I knew in that moment were the ripples of pleasure still coursing through my body, and the languid strokes of Jake’s tongue as he slowly extracted every last drop of pleasure from me.
But instead of a sleepy, dreamy haze, my body felt as though it was immediately revving up for round two.
I tugged at his hair. “Jake.” I curled forward to slip my hands under his arms, pulling with all my weight. He obliged, crawling up and pressing the length of his body against me. My lips found his again, and my fingers traveled down to his pants lightning fast, popping the button and tugging at the zipper. I slipped my hand inside, gripping him through his shorts, and he groaned.
“I want you, Jake,” I whispered in his ear. “I want you,” I repeated, peppering kisses along his jaw. That seemed to spur him to action, and he pulled back to tug his remaining clothing off and settle his body against me, completely free of barriers now.
Jake propped his head up on one hand, his eyes impossible to read, even now. “Are you sure you want this, Ellie? I’m happy to wait, there’s no rush for me. This has already been far more than I would have asked for.”
I reached a hand between us and slipped it around him, watching as his eyes fluttered closed in response. “I’m sure, Jake. I want you as close to me as two people can get.”
“But you deserve-”
I cut him off with a finger to his lips. “You said I deserve candlelight. We have candles. You said I deserved romance. This has all been quite romantic, in my opinion. You said I deserved fireworks, and I just saw them. Now all that’s left is for you to see them with me.”
I spread my legs wider and pressed against him, then pressed more kisses to his cheek, his jaw, finally enticing him to drop his lips to mine. At first slow and sweet, Jake rapidly increased the pressure of his mouth, the motion of his tongue, and the grip of his hands on my body. I rolled my hips, and just as he pressed against me, he paused and pulled back.
“Condom?”
“It’s fine. I’m on the pill.”
“Are yousure?” Now I could tell he was toying with me, the smirk on his face a dead giveaway.
“Jake!” I slapped his shoulder. “I swear if you don’t follow through this time, I’m going to consider you the biggest tease-”
I lost my words as he moved forward, the pressure both a release and the start of an even bigger crescendo all in one. Jake claimed my mouth, kissing me gently while he moved with slowly increasing speed. My legs wrapped around his hips, my body rising and falling, lifting to meet him.
“Ellie, I really care about you,” he breathed, slowing to gaze at me with adoration.
“I know, Jake.” I kissed the tip of his nose. “I care about you, too.”
And as if we had some unspoken code, all pretense of ‘romantic love-making’ fled from the room. My nails dug into his back, and he pushed deeper, harder, faster. His hands wrapped around my shoulders and held me, his kisses deep and claiming. I tightened my legs around him, meeting him for every powerful stroke. We raced toward the end together, and when we found an even higher peak than I’d reached before, the starbursts of light were all the brighter, with our hearts pounding as one.
* * *
After we restedand shared warm, languid kisses, I got dressed and headed home, figuring it wasn’t good for the kids to wake up and find me there. Jake walked me to my car in just his flannel pajama pants and bare feet, despite the cold. I clung to the heat of his bare chest while he kissed me goodbye, his hand once again tangled in my hair. I drove home in a moony haze, his scent on my body bringing back flashes of the night’s pleasure.
But after I got home and showered, I discovered a kernel of anxiety in my chest that I couldn’t quite shake. I felt it growing larger as I prepared for bed, and I ran over the possible causes in my mind.
There was no impending event this week that wasn’t meticulously planned, and I actually felt pretty good about where I sat with my dad. Tracing back to when I last felt completely at ease, I realized the anxious feeling began with Olivia’s phone call, inviting me to her concert.
Surely that wasn’t the issue; I loved Olivia, and Ethan. They were great kids, and I was flattered she wanted me to come. The whole evening had been a delightful surprise, even meeting Jake’s parents. They were a sweet couple, obviously fond of their son and grandkids, and loving toward each other. So what could be the source of my anxiety?
Then realization hit me like a hammer: it was them, all of them. The whole scenario, where I’d suddenly become a surrogate mom to kids I barely knew.
As much as I liked Jake and adored his kids, there was no way I was ready to take on an entire family. I still had a lot of things to check off my list! And I promised Mom I would never set aside my plans for a man… I practically swore it on her deathbed. You don’t just ignore a promise like that.
I moved to the kitchen, fishing a bottle of rosé from the fridge and pouring myself a glass. Realizing what I was stressed about had the opposite effect from normal; now, instead of easing my anxiety, it was adding to it. Adrenaline surged through my body and I couldn’t stand still, pacing back and forth in my gleaming modern kitchen. I tried to slow my heart down, deep breaths interspersed with shaky sips of wine. Sweat pooled under my arms,
It’s fine. I’m stressing myself out over nothing. Jake can’t possibly expect me to plop into his life and take over the role of mother. He knows how important running Aspen Ridge is to me, and we aren’t even technically a thing yet. I’m psyching myself out.
