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His flight back was super early this morning and by now he must know that I’m gone and is he mad that I broke my promise to him? Is he worried? Does he think this has something to do with my dad? What…
I hear the click of the door opening and I fiddle with my skirts to make sure that my bump is still hidden.
But I shouldn’t have bothered.
Because the person I see in the mirror, who’s just entered the room, is someone who knows.
He was the first person to know actually.
That I was pregnant with his babies.
And he looks...
So good. So amazing, such a balm to my aching soul with his dark t-shirt and washed-out jeans, his hair messy and falling on his brows, his cheeks clean-shaven. Making me think that he must’ve shaved before boarding his plane because he knows how much I love seeing the beautiful arches and curvature of his face.
I swirl around just as he closes the door behind him, his eyes the darkest I’ve ever seen and pinned on me. And the first thing I do, after turning to face him, is take a step forward, knowing in my heart that he’ll solve everything. That he’ll take me away from here.
My heart finally starting to beat for the first time since I left the cabin and my mouth stretching into a smile.
But then I stop.
And think.
He’s here.
Here.
And I’m getting married in less than an hour.
And I need to make sure that I get married in an hour.
For his sake and my brother’s.
So I can’t go to him. I can’t throw myself in his arms and ask him to take me away. I need to get him out of here. I need him to leave.
“What… What are you doing here?”
His jaw tics and in response, he starts to walk toward me.
“H-how did you know where to find me?” I ask, starting to walk backward.
His response remains the same as before, advancing toward me.
Except now he’s taking me in, from top to bottom.
In my wedding dress.
And he’s doing it slowly. Very, very slowly. Purposefully and deliberately.
And I realize two things in this moment.
One: his perusal, even though slower than usual, is what he usually does when he comes home after a long day of practice. To make sure, for his peace of mind, that I’m okay. And that just breaks my heart even more.
And two: he looks exactly the way he did that night. The night he came to me with revenge on his mind, and that completely shatters my heart.
It’s in the air. It’s swollen and heavy. Charged up and electric with his anger.
Something that I missed but it’s very apparent to me now.
And it’s even more apparent that he’s angry because he’s hurt. I’ve hurt him with my actions. I’ve hurt him by breaking my promise to him.
I’ve hurt him.
And I wish I had the time to fix it.
But I don’t.
Because it’s even more imperative that I get him out of here.
Angry Ledger is not a good thing. Angry Ledger destroys things like he did that night. I need to somehow placate him enough that he leaves without causing damage to himself and my brother.
“Look, I know…” I raise my hands up in a calming gesture. “I know you’re hurt. You’re pissed. I know that. I can see that, feel that. I know you must have questions. I left you. And I didn’t leave a note and I didn’t…” I lick my lips. “I worried you. And that was exactly the thing that I said I wouldn’t do. Exactly the thing that I’d promised I wouldn’t do. I broke my promise to you. I know that. But I swear… I swear to God, Ledger, I’ll answer every question you have, okay? I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I’ll take any punishment that you want to deliver. And I… I was going to anyway. I know you have no reason to believe me, but please trust me when I say that I was going to explain everything to you. I was going to tell you everything, confess everything once I was…”
I swallow, hating that I have to use the word in front of him. “Once I was married. I hadn’t figured out a way yet. But I was going to. And I know you h-hate even talking about him but he’s a good guy. I was going to talk to him and Ezra would’ve —”
My words come to a halt when my spine hits the cool window.
Not to mention when his ticking jaw stops and he grinds his teeth at the name ‘Ezra.’
Swallowing again, I whisper because now he’s close enough to hear me. Now, he’s close enough that all I see is him and his carved-in-granite face and smell his cinnamon scent. “Please, Ledger. I know you’re angry. I know that. But please don’t do anything. Not right now. Just please hold off, okay? Just leave. For now. And I promise, I’ll find you after the wedding and explain —”
