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This whole apology looked like it was costing her.
I frowned, sensing there was deeper stuff going on. I asked, “Why didn’t you?”
Her eyes jerked to mine. She was struggling.
Her lips parted. “Because if I had, he would’ve left me.”
Boom.
Truth explosion.
She swallowed, her head folding down again. “I didn’t want to admit that to myself in that moment, but still—”
I held up a hand. “Apology accepted. You knew I was safe with Scout, so stop tormenting yourself.” I shut my locker and leaned back against it, my arms folding everything in my arms. “Are you okay?”
“No,” she admitted, her body shuddering. “I—just—last night when I knew I needed to check on you, when he should’ve been cool with letting me check on the new friend who came because I invited her—I knew it then. Knew in my gut. He would have no problem leaving without me, and I’d go a week without hearing from him because he’d be too busy fucking other girls. Then he’d come back and the worst part of it is that when he’d come to me, he wouldn’t apologize. That’s . . . a really hard pill to swallow.”
I was gathering. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head, her eyes closing and holding before opening. “I wanted to make things right with you before Gem shows up. Could I ask a favor? I’m aware that I totally don’t have that right considering the circumstances.”
I frowned, straightening up. “Sure.”
Her gaze lifted and she pinned it down the hallway, but at the same time her jaw clenched. “Could you not mention any of this to Gem? She really likes you and wants us to be friends. I had fun with you last night, and I’d like that too, but I know I probably messed everything up. Give me another two weeks to try to make it up to you before dropping the hammer about what happened last night to Gem?”
My mouth twitched. “Your whole shame and blame yourself thing is a little overboard. You’re having guy revelations, meaning you’re more into your guy than he is with you and you’re making yourself face that head on, and you knew I’d be safe with Scout last night. The main crisis happening here is more with yourself. I’m good. I won’t hold a grudge against you, and you coming up and really putting it all out there makes up for you not checking on me last night. I’m way more into being your friend now than I was yesterday.”
Her shoulders dropped dramatically. “You serious?”
I nodded, thinking we needed to start heading for class.
That was until someone screamed.
38
SCOUT
“You’re fucking my cousin?”
I paused.
He took my pause the wrong way, fury twisting up his face. “Clint told me, and it’s messed up if you think my triplet isn’t going to share that shit with me.”
Okay. First—I shook my head. Too many fires happening right now.
I held my hand up, closing the weight room door behind me. No one else was inside. “I told her I wasn’t going to lie to you.”
“When did it happen?”
This morning flashed in my head.
The time before that.
The time before that.
“It is a recent development.”
He exploded, “Fuck you, Scout! She’s my cousin. You know the shit she’s gone through, and now this? You? What are you—” He was tense, and his hands were in fists.
I had two seconds to start explaining or my best friend was going to swing on me.
I got to talking. “Ramsay and I aren’t like that.”
“BULLSHI—”
“Not, not like that.” I raised my voice because, fuck this. He needed to hear me. “And I told her that I wasn’t going to lie to you. She also said she can’t lie to you guys, and I’m figuring out now she meant that literally. But, fuck, okay. Yes. I fucked your cousin.”
Maybe the wrong thing to say because he started for me.
I backed up. “But it was making it worse not to do it.”
He stopped, but his head flew back. “That is the most messed up shi—”
“You gotta let me talk. Jesus fucking Christ, Alex!” Now my shit was going to explode because fuck this. Amalia’s life was crumbling, and I was here handling this, for him, for my friendship. “Look. Your cousin isn’t some chick who’s looking at me with wide eyes. This thing between us has been there from the beginning.”
He started shaking his head.
“I mean it. Ask her, but goddamn, the first fucking time we saw each other, it was there. And neither of us wanted it. Believe that. I love you. I love you and Cohen and Amalia and, right now, shit’s going down with Amalia. They need me, but I’m here with you because you’re my brother too. I mean that shit. I really do.” He frowned, his eyebrows dipping down. I kept on, “Ramsay and I? I don’t know what’s going to happen with that, but I can tell you that I don’t feel like I’m going to combust from my organs because her and I finally gave in.”
