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Jane relaxed her body and touched my arm. “I am so sorry, ladies. I did not mean to imply . . . Caroline is your sister and needs mental help. The state placed her in custody in a section of this facility that is called that. Please forgive my awful choice of words.”
Dianne said, “I understand. What can you tell us about Caroline’s ability to get well?”
“Caroline has a long road ahead of her. Everyone here wants her to get well. They have a plan which will include all kinds of therapy to improve her mind, body, and spirit. I know from Annie that you are a strong family. That will help. Follow the doctor’s advice, and you will be able to help her heal.”
My sisters and I listened as Jane talked to us about the mind and how it affects all parts of the body. And how a weakened body affects the mind. Dianne said, “Thank you, Jane, for explaining all this to us. We are more ready to meet her doctor now.” Ethel just turned and walked away. Jane attempted to give me another hug, but I could not. It was all too depressing.
Ethel led us toward the office of one of the doctors. A man dressed in white pants and shirt stepped toward us before we got to Dr. Redmond’s office. By the look on Ethel’s face, we knew he was not Dr. Redmond. He said, “Hello, I am Doctor Alderman. I am afraid Dr. Redmond is unavailable. He asked me to speak with you on his behalf.” He told us that Caroline had relapsed. Her mental state was in regression, and they had to move her back into the hospital last night. He said they were working to adjust her meds, so we would not be able to visit her after all. The scariest thing he told us was that Caroline was reporting that voices were telling her to hurt people again, so they had placed her in isolation.
When I explained that our mother had died, and we wanted to tell Caroline in person and wanted to see if she could come back with us to attend our mother’s funeral, the doctor was adamant. He told us Caroline was in no condition to hear or accept her mother’s death right now. He added that the hospital was trying to keep her and the other patients safe. He said Dr. Redmond would send us a report as soon as he could to let us know when we could see Caroline.
We drove the whole way back home without talking to one another. I turned on the radio, and we listened to jazz and pretended we hadn’t heard that news.
MARCH 1932
Dianne
Settling Momma’s Estate
Momma died two months after Dr. Walker diagnosed her with cancer. She evidently had been living with it for months, if not a year. Now Dianne, Annie, and I gathered to talk about how to cope with losing our mother. We had to settle the estate as well as decide what to do about Caroline. I have to say handling all the things necessary to settle our mother’s estate put a strain on the Nash sisters’ relationships. Conversations revealed heart-break, anger, and even a little silliness. Dianne shares the memories and conversations she recalls when we were reminded that family love and responsibility loom larger than each of our own desires.
I could tell Ethel was getting angry, not only because she was shouting but also because she was letting the curse words fly. She shouted, “Jesus! I don’t understand why this has to be so dang complicated! It is really not an estate. Estates are what son-of-a-gun RICH people have to settle.”
Annie jumped right in, but on the opposite side of this debate. Her voice was also raised. “Don’t be foolish, Ethel. All this has to be divided equally among Momma’s daughters! And we have to figure out how to pay for Caroline’s care! We must account for every dime!”
Ethel was not having any of that. She fired back, “Wait a dang minute! Do you think Caroline gets a fourth and her hospital costs? No way! We all will walk away with housing costs, especially me! This was my home. Once we sell, Marie and I have no place to live.”
That quieted Annie down but she brought her stern face within inches of Ethel’s and through gritted teeth said, “Stop yelling at me, Ethel! We will get nowhere unless we can speak like civilized people.”
I had to break up the tension, so I started singing America the Beautiful. We Nash girls often sang to ourselves to relieve stress or anger.
O beautiful for spacious skies . . .
Annie and Ethel looked at me like I was crazy. But I kept on singing.
God shed His grace on thee . . .
Ethel said, “Jeez Louise, leave God out of this!” She was trying to hide a smile behind her grumpiness. Annie breathed deeply and shook her head. I brought my voice to its loudest volume for
from sea to shining sea.
We never knew anything but the first verse, but we often sang it when spring arrived at the farm. I wasn’t sure this would cheer them up, but it got them to shut up for a bit. Ethel and Annie both stared at me. After a couple of silent minutes, they realized what I was trying to do.
Annie said, “Okay, Dianne, if we promise to calm down, will you stop singing?” They broke into a fit of laughter while I tried to act like someone had slapped my face. I couldn’t hold the act very long and joined in their amusement.
I poured three glasses of sweet tea and said, “Let’s go sit in the family room. We need to remember how much love we have for each other. Ethel, can Marie join us with her toys?”
The family room was not used unless we had company. It was a special place for us as girls because most of the time the door was closed. Maybe we could talk like family instead of enemies in that room. There is nothing like having Marie with us to change our attention to what is good in life. Marie entered the room holding Annie’s hand. Ethel brought in a blue child’s tea set for Marie. Over in one corner of the room were her fabric dolls and a doll bed with a blanket. I stared for a moment with heaviness in my heart. I knew Momma had made all those for Marie. There was also a child-sized wooden chair and table that I remembered Joseph, one of the farm workers, made for Marie.
“Look, Marie, we’re going to have tea together,” said Annie. “This is so nice. Thank you, Ethel. Thank you, Dianne. This feels more like our family.”
In her youthful excitement, Marie went bounding over to her table and grabbed one of her dolls to sit in her lap. “Yeah, Marie, we are gonna be nice,” Ethel said only a little sarcastically.
Ethel sat in a wooden rocking chair made of walnut. It fit her body. We all knew where this chair came from, and it was ironic how secure Ethel looked sitting there. It was Frank’s gift to her for, as he described it, birthing their child. He brought it by the house five days after Marie was born. At that time, Ethel still believed they would be married soon. It was a happy time that soon turned into sadness.
Annie admired the tea set and asked where it came from. She said she had seen them in D.C. They were called Lusterware and were made in Japan.
“The Pollards sent it to Marie for Christmas,” Ethel admitted. “At first, I did not want to keep it, but she went nuts when we opened the package that had come in the mail. I figured there was no harm. She doesn’t know them. She only gets to play with it on special occasions.”
