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“Don’t freaking tell me how I feel. You have no idea how I feel.”
“Then talk to me. Tell me so I can fix it.” He grabs my elbows. Dips his head to meet my eyes. His dark chocolate irises are swimming in helplessness. “I can’t lose you.”
I wrench my hands back. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”
“Asia.” He runs his hands through his hair. “I know we’re in a bad place right now. I know you’ll need time, but I just… I need to hear that you’re not giving up on us.”
“Why should I hold on?”
His eyes meet mine, burning with chaos. “Just a few hours ago, you said you’d stay with me. I’ll do everything I can to put you at ease. I’ll make sure you never have to worry about an awkward encounter again. Just… don’t take those words back.”
For some reason, the reminder of how happy I was before meeting Svena twists the knife in deeper.
What a naive dummy.
What a total and complete idiot I was, skipping away on rainbows and sex and chemistry, thinking those things would hold a freaking candle when the rubber hit the road.
Rainstorms have a habit of blowing flames out.
I should have known.
Hell, I’m the product of a wild, raging, passionate fire that lost steam at the slightest hint of dew.
“Asia…”
“There’s nothing you can do.” I stare out the window. “What’s done is done.” A thought drops into my mind and I fling my gaze back on him. “Is this why you’ve been spending all your time at the office? You were trying to keep this from me?”
“I was waiting for the right time to tell you.” He wearily scrubs his hands over his cheek. “And… Svena said I might not be the father. We won’t know until the paternity test comes out. It could be me or… not.”
I stumble back. “If you found out you weren’t the father, would you have kept on lying to me?”
He glances to the side.
“I can’t believe this.”
“There’s a chance it’s not mine. The paternity test—”
“This isn’t about the freaking paternity test, Hansley.” I throw my hands up. “Is this ideal for me? Hell no. I’m not going to hide from that. But this isn’t the kid’s fault and I wouldn’t take it out on him or her if I had the chance to. This is about you. You, Hansley. I don’t trust you.”
“All I’ve done, since the moment our eyes met, was think about you, Asia. That’s it.” He bobs his head. “You’re it. You’re everything.”
His words pierce my soul, but I send out shields to keep my heart from bowing. This isn’t the time to run on my emotions. Going with the flow and depending on ‘feelings’ got me into this mess.
It’s time to use my reasoning.
The facts are simple. Clear.
“You want to hear my list?” I ask.
His eyebrows pull together in a ‘V’.
I count on my hand. “You’ve got a track record of plowing through women. Commitment is like a curse word to you and you avoid it by choice.”
“Not anymore.”
“So you say.” I exhale deeply.
Feel the control slip into my veins.
