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“I’m not having a go. Most kids in college party too much. But like you said, when you’re drinking to escape problems or until you aren’t in control, it hits different.”
I hug my knees to my chest and sigh. “Look at me, giving up all my vices in one go.”
“What else are you giving up?”
“Sex.” I pout. “Vodka isn’t the only breakup I’m going through this week.”
Taylor laughs. “Well, you know my thoughts about you breaking up with Colt. But if you insist on it, there’s other boys on campus who I’m sure could scratch that itch for you.”
“The scary thing is, I’m not sure I’m interested. Even in a casual hook-up.” I scrunch my nose up at my admission. This is so unlike me. Sex was always a purely physical thing for me until I met Colt.
“Damn Colt for making sex so good and, therefore, ruining it for me.” I joke, but there’s some truth in what I’ve said. My phone dings next to me on my bed and I check the screen.
“That’s Chase. He’s dragging me out for a while tonight to cheer me up.”
“Didn’t you just say you were giving up the partying?” Taylor shakes her head at me.
“Going to a party doesn’t mean I have to get wasted.” I put my shoes on. “I’ll see what it’s like to stay sober for the night. You want to come?”
“Nah,” Taylor points at the open books in front of her. “I’ve got to study.”
I jump up off the bed and gather my things.
“Why don’t you sleep with Chase again if you miss sex so much? I could think of worse people to bump uglies with.”
I roll my eyes at the dreamy expression on her face. She can’t even say his name without drooling.
“No way,” I answer firmly. “He’s a friend and nothing more.”
“Sure, sure,” Taylor tsks. I throw another cushion at her on my way out the door.
I walk out into the backyard for some fresh air, wondering how I let Chase convince me to come to this party. Even though it’s pumping inside, I’m not in the mood for fun. At least I’m sticking to my vow of not drinking, which is very unlike me. But the memory of how sick I was after my last messy attempt to numb myself is still strong enough to help keep me sober. Clearly, alcohol is not the answer to any of my problems. I lean my elbows on the balcony railing, looking over the yard. The setting sun casts a warm glow over the people dancing on the grass. The beauty of it makes me smile. I would never have appreciated this, or even noticed it, if I was drunk.
I’m almost enjoying myself when I hear a voice that makes my muscles immediately tense up.
“Sassy?” Dani says meekly, coming to stand beside me. “Can we talk?”
“Not sure there’s much to say,” I answer, not even looking at her. I’d be happy to never see her again in my life.
“Actually, there is. I want to tell you how sorry I am.”
“You’ve already done that. We said it’s fine. No need to go over it again.” I keep my eyes trained on a couple dancing together. They seem happy. I wonder if they’ve just met tonight or if they’re in a relationship. Then I shake my head. I really don’t care.
“Um, I need to apologise for something else. The strip club. I didn’t mean for it to go like that.”
I whip my head around to face Dani. She has tears in her eyes, and I notice she looks genuinely sorry this time. But for what?
“What do you mean?” I ask as a feeling of dread creeps up my spine.
“I didn’t know they’d hurt Colt. I just wanted to split you guys up.” She’s wringing her hands together, her voice trembling, and the tears spill over her lashes. “I’m so sorry.”
“Dani,” I say sternly and pull myself up to full height, looking at her closely. “Tell me what you did.”
“Um, that day on the oval, I overheard you and Colt planning to steal money from The Nest.” Dani chokes back a sob. “I just wanted him to dump you and come back to me.”
I swallow down a retort. Come back to what? A one-night stand? But I need to hear what she has to say, so I stay silent.
“I went to The Nest and spoke to the manager. I told him you were coming by that evening and, um, that you’d be happy to take your job back if he offered you more money. If that happened, I figured Colt would finally leave you.”
