AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I can’t seem to get over her.” The truth spills more easily from me than I expected. I pace my bedroom floor, dodging piles of belongings that I’ve been packing up, ready for my move. Uni finishes in two days. Then it’s time to move my life back to Sydney. And away from Sassy. The dread in my stomach has been growing bigger as the day draws closer.
“I thought that might be it,” Becky says softly. “You must have really loved her for it to still be hitting you so hard.”
I swallow and look out of my bedroom window. It’s been grey all day. The dark clouds gathered low overhead are threatening to break open at any moment.
“I do love her.” I say simply.
“Have you tried talking to her?” Becky asks and I raise my eyebrows.
“That’s a strange question from you. Didn’t you want me to stay well clear of her, Beck?”
“I did,” Becky sighs, guilt in her voice. “Before I knew how you felt about her. I don’t like my baby brother being heartbroken. Colt, I’m sorry I pushed my opinion on you.”
I smile at her words. Becky has always mothered me, even when mum was still alive. She’s looked out for me from the moment I was born. A role she’s not giving up any time soon, so it seems.
“I know you were just trying to protect me. And honestly, you weren’t wrong.”
“Whoa, I’m going to need to get that in writing,” she teases. “Except, actually, maybe Iwaswrong.”
“Well, now I’m going to need that in writing, too!” I laugh. There’s a low rumbling of thunder in the distance and the first raindrops finally splash against my window. I walk over to my bed and sit heavily. Running a hand through my hair, I grow serious again.
“You were wrong about her being bad news,” I say. “But right that we aren’t good for each other. Everything went pear-shaped from the moment we got together. It’s hard to explain it, but it’s like when our energy combined it became destructive, and I don’t reckon it’s something we can contain.”
“It wouldn’t always be that way,” Becky says thoughtfully. “You guys were destructive because you weren’t paying attention to anything else but each other. That can happen when you fall fast. But energy like that often tapers off and becomes stable. I think if you tried again, you might find it’s not so crazy.”
I huff out a small laugh. Who is this person and what did she do with my sister? Her change of heart towards Sassy is unexpected.
“Have you taken a psych 101 course I’m not aware of?” I tease.
“Turns out you learn a lot about relationships in my line of work.” Becky says, pride in her voice.
“It doesn’t matter, anyway. She made it pretty clear we’re over.”
“Um,” Becky’s voice is small and hesitant. “I have a confession to make. When I met her at the hospital and she told me what happened, I freaked out. I was already frantic with worry. Do you remember what it was like when I was the one in the hospital?”
My hand grips the phone tightly. I still can’t think of that night without feeling sick. When I got the phone call about Becky being in the ICU, I thought my heart might actually stop beating.
“Yeah, I remember.” I choke out.
“That’s the frame of mind I was in when I met Sassy.” Becky’s voice breaks, and I can tell she’s holding back tears. “The way she explained it, it seemed like it was all her fault. I blamed her, Colt. I told her if she cared about you, she’d walk away and never come back.”
“You did?” I squeeze my eyes shut tight against the pain this causes me. Visions of my sister and Sassy fighting at the hospital fill my head. The idea of anyone blaming Sassy and hurting her makes my heart ache. Even though I’d have done the same in Becky’s position.
“Colt, I’m so sorry.” Becky is crying now. “I didn’t realise what she meant to you. I thought you were just having fun with her. All I could see was a girl who nearly got you killed, not someone you were in love with.”
I grind the heel of my palm into my eyes before opening them back up again. I focus on my piles of clothes waiting to be packed.
“It doesn’t matter Becky,” I say, resigned. “She was probably always going to walk away from me. She seems to have moved on with Chase awfully fast, living her life as though I never even existed.”
“I’m sorry.” Becky whispers again.
“Don’t be.” I stand up and walk back over to my window. The rain is steady now, the sky dark to match my mood. “Don’t feel bad. This isn’t your fault.”
“Talk to her Colt,” Becky pleads. “You’re leaving and you might not see her again. Tell her how you feel before you move. Please.”
Something on the street below catches my eye. A movement so small and subtle that I think I may have imagined it. But then I see a flash of purple and my heart rate quickens. There’s someone out there.
“Okay Beck,” I agree. “I’ll talk to her.” Then I hang up and take the stairs two at a time until I’m outside.
