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I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I stopped short when I spotted a figure standing by the pool. His back was to me, but I knew instantly who it was.
“Jude?” I asked.
“Hey.” He turned, and I tried to get a read on his expression.
I glanced around, wondering if he was alone. Wondering why he was here. Did Knox know Jude was here?
“Your dad isn’t here,” I said, wishing he were.
“I know. And he’s not my dad. Not anymore.”
I cringed but tried to hide it. Jude was clearly upset, and I was to blame. So I nodded slowly, calmly, even though my heart was racing. “Are you…okay?”
“No.” He shook his head, coming closer. “I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay since thatnight.”
I backed away slowly. Jude had never been aggressive or physical. Then again, finding out your ex was sleeping with your father would push anyone to the limit.
“Do you—” I debated whether I should even broach the topic, but I found myself asking, “Do you want to talk about it?”
He looked me over, taking his time. Finally, he said, “You were the best thing that ever happened to me.”
My heart softened, and I felt bad for hurting him. Not just for moving on, but knowing I’d moved on with his dad made it even worse.
“Jude…”
“No.” He shook his head. “You were. You’re kind and beautiful. You really care about people, Ken.”
Ironic words coming from Jude, considering what I’d done to him. How I’d broken his heart and destroyed his relationship with his father. I didn’t feel as if I deserved any of his praise.
“How did we get here?” he mused. I wondered if he was asking that of himself. Me. Maybe the universe.
It was something I’d often asked myself. How we’d gotten ourselves in this situation. Why I’d ever allowed myself to come between these two men. And how I’d ever thought it would turn out okay.
This was the furthest thing from okay.
My ex was close to tears. He wasn’t speaking to his dad. I might be pregnant. And everyone was miserable.
I led Jude over to a chair, guiding him to sit before joining him. Jude cradled his head in his hands. “What does he have that I don’t?”
His words twisted at my heart, playing on my guilt.
“What is it?” Jude asked, pushing for an answer.
“Nothing,” I said.
“Clearly, it’s not nothing. And I know it’s not about the money, so what is it?”
I lifted a shoulder. What could I say? Nothing would make it better. So, I settled for, “You’re a great guy, Jude. You’re just not the guy for me.”
“Butheis?” he seethed.
The fact that Jude couldn’t even say his dad’s name didn’t bode well for the future of their relationship. I hated that it had come to this. I hated myself for tearing their family apart.
I didn’t want to hurt Jude—well, not any more than I already had. But I couldn’t lie either. “I’m sorry,” I whispered through my tears.
“Kendall.” He took my hand in his, his expression surprisingly serene. Almost…pitying. “I don’t blame you.”
“You don’t?” I asked, taken aback by his abrupt change in demeanor.
