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“I’ll miss you too.” She pulled me in for a hug. “But this is going to be good for you.”
I knew she was right. I’d been stuck in a rut.
After I’d ended things with Knox and quit my job with the Leatherbacks, I’d moved back in with my mom. I’d told the Hartwell Agency I was interested in live-in assignments, and I’d started taking on jobs as a caption writer.
I loved getting to see movies in advance, and it was a good way to practice my listening and typing skills. Always racing to ensure accuracy for the English, French, and then Spanish subtitles. But I was ready for something more. Different.
Or at least a change of scenery.
It had been months since we’d broken up. And everywhere I went, I thought of Knox. It didn’t help that the Leatherbacks had just won the MLS Cup. I was so happy for him, and I wasn’t the only one. Everyone in LA had been rooting for the team, and the buzz was palpable. From billboards to bus clings, it seemed as if the Leatherbacks—and, in my mind, Knox—were everywhere I looked.
I’d tried to stay busy. Keep my mind off him, but it was impossible. And not just because of the Leatherbacks’ win.
I kept remembering how happy we were together. How things had finally been going well with Jude again. And then I’d had to go and ruin it.
“Hey, now,” Emmy said. “It’s only for a month. We can video chat whenever you want.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Emmy. I was…” I waved a hand through the air. “Never mind.”
“Thinking about Knox?” she asked.
I blew out a breath and sank back on my heels on the floor. “Yeah.”
For the most part, I’d tried not to talk about him. It was too painful. I missed him too much.
“It’s understandable that you miss him. What you guys had was…” She shook her head. “Intense.”
I nodded. “It was.
“But you wanted something different, and that’s okay.”
“Is it?” I asked. Because lately, I wasn’t so sure.
“Yes!” She joined me on the floor, crossing her legs and sitting next to me. “Kendall, you followed your heart. You told him whatyouneeded. What you did wasn’t easy. And I’m really proud of you.”
I rested my head on her shoulder. “Thanks, Em.”
“So what’s got you so down?” she asked. “Because, girl, you are about to take a private jet to Paris. And live it up in an apartment worth twelve million euros.”
“It’s a dream come true,” I said, but then I faltered. “And yet, I can’t help wishing I were experiencing this with Knox.”
“Because you know he’d take you on an epic shopping spree?” she teased.
“Oh, I’m sure it would be epic. But no.” I didn’t miss the gifts, though they’d certainly been nice. I missed him. “I just…” I groaned, rubbing my face. “I can’t help feeling like I made a mistake.”
“Accepting the placement?”
“No.” I shook my head. “With Knox. I mean, I was so emotional. And exhausted. And stressed.”
Time had given me some perspective. But I kept going back to that morning, to when it had all unraveled. Knox’s words continued to haunt me.
Why can’t this be enough?
Why isn’t what we have enough?
“Yes, but youknewyou wanted to be a mom. And that hasn’t changed, has it?”
“No.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “But… He’s so incredible. And my heart is breaking because I love him. And I know he loves me. And yet we can’t agree on this.”
