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And not you.
I nodded. Jude and I had broken up because I’d gotten my dream job. Because I was moving.
He leaned closer and placed his hand over mine. “I understand why you stayed. Of course I do.” He gave my hand a squeeze before letting go. “I wish you would’ve let me be there for you. I still hope you will.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I felt Knox watching us. When I finally chanced a glimpse at him, his jaw was clenched. His hands balled into fists on the counter. But then he turned away, and I wondered if I’d imagined it.
“I need to make some calls,” Knox said. “I’ll leave you two to catch up.”
I opened my mouth as if to stop him, as if to say something, but then closed it. There was already enough tension between Jude and Knox because of me. I didn’t need to make it worse.
CHAPTERSIX
“Istill can’t believe you’re here,” Jude said, a note of awe in his voice as it carried down the hall from the kitchen.
I wished I could see Kendall’s expression. I wished I knew what she was thinking. Was she happy to see him? And why did I care so much?
You know why.
I dropped my head to my chest.
I needed to shut that shit down real quick. Kendall was off-limits. And my little crush was embarrassing. Not to mention inappropriate and dangerous.
God, if Jude knew how I felt about her…how I’d always felt about her. I pinched the bridge of my nose.
At least he didn’t seem upset with me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he were. For the moment, though, he seemed so happy to see Kendall that nothing else mattered.
I should go. Leave.
And yet I lingered in the shadows, Jude’s and Kendall’s voices carrying back to me.
It was a shitty thing to do—eavesdrop on their conversation. But I’d been doing a lot of shitty things lately where my son was concerned. Hiding the fact that Kendall was working for me, living at my house. But that wasn’t even the worst of it.
The worst part. The most shameful, disgusting part was that I’d been lusting after Kendall. And not just lately. Always.
Since the moment I’d locked eyes with her on my yacht, and every time since, I’d noticed Kendall. It didn’t matter how many times I’d told myself she was with him. I’d seen her first. And I couldn’t help but be drawn to her.
Now that she was living in my home, now that I’d gotten to spend more time alone with her, my attraction had only grown stronger.
It wasn’t just about her beauty—though she was definitely gorgeous. Long brown hair streaked with gold. Soulful hazel eyes that harbored wisdom. Sun-kissed skin that begged for me to caress every curve, explore every dip.
When I’d placed my hands on her hips earlier, it was as if she’d been made for me. She intrigued me. Relaxed me.
And I found myself making up all sorts of excuses to spend time with her. I’d even asked her to tutor me in Spanish to improve my fluency, though she refused to let me pay her. She saidIwas doinghera favor by letting her practice with someone.
And then there was her personality. She was smart and hardworking and selfless. And she really cared about others—her mom, me, even Jude, despite the fact that they’d broken up.
But that was just it.My sonhaddatedher.
And even though he was now dating someone else, I had no right to think the things I did about his ex. To feel the way I felt about Kendall.
She might be single, but she would never be mine. And the sooner I got that into my head, and her out of my house, the better.
* * *
I studiedthe field a few days later, watching the team run its drills. “Looking good, Esposito,” I called.
Number forty-four held up his hand and waved at me.
