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The tears I shed were hot and felt like they were burning trails down my face. “I want you, all of you, more than anything in the world,” I said, and the two adults in the room with me sighed hard in relief.
“Kan, you scared me,” Chandler said, laughing.
“You know I want this, of course I do. But…now? I thought we were waiting a year, Rick.”
Rick smiled and said, “Kanan, it’s close enough. Chandler brought this up to me, pointing out that Colby calls you dad now, feels like you’re his dad.”
“Daddy Kan, you wanna be my daddy?”
I cupped his little cheek. “Yes, Col. More than anything in the whole wide world.”
Colby leapt at me, hugging me tightly, and Rick barely rescued the tray from coming to a crashing heap on the floor. I held Colby as I stared at Rick, mouthing the words, “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been so sure of anything. They’re yours, you’re their dad.”
“I love you all, so much.”
“Wait, wait, now,” Chandler said, “We’re not done.”
Colby let go of me and sat beside me, right up in my side. “What more could there possibly be? You’ve just given me the world,” I said pointedly at Rick.
“Well, my sweet Kan, I don’t want you to think that this is because of the adoption. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time now.”
He pulled something from his pocket and set it on the tray.
“It’s a ring, it’s a ring, Daddy Kan! Daddy is marryin’ you!”
“Colby,” Rick and Chandler groaned in unison.
I took the small box and opened it to see two wedding rings, gold with a line of diamonds over the top. Four diamonds on each ring.
“I didn’t know about engagement rings for men, so I just got the wedding rings. Wishful thinking, I guess.”
“Four stones. The four of us,” I whispered.
Colby pointed to the last one on the top ring and whispered loudly, “That one’s for me.”
“It is, Col. It’s for you.”
The boys left us alone then, and Rick set the tray on the nightstand before crawling back into bed with me. “I know this was a lot, Kan. If it’s too much, too soon, tell me.”
“You know it’s what I want, Rick.”
I took his hand but could barely see it through the welling tears. “You seem so…shocked.”
“I just didn’t expect it right now. Of course, I want it. What about Colby’s mother?”
“She signed off with a little financial bribing.”
“Rick!”
His voice was harsh, bitter. “That’s all she really wanted anyway.”
“I’m sorry about that, about her. I know, deep down that you wanted her to care, maybe even fight for him.”
“I would. I guess she’s not like me though. You know, when we first met, she was so humble and sweet. I thought surely, she was real, like a good person. As soon as the ring was on her finger, she changed.”
“Are you worried I will?”
