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He had me turn and then whistled through his teeth as he looked at my bare back. “That last guy got a little heavy-handed with that flogger.”
“You mean your partner? Yeah, Damon’s a little rough,” I said, turning back to face him. “Not gonna lie, it was great.”
“Don’t like it too much. Joel doesn’t allow us fucking his friends after they’ve become friends. Or…whatever.”
“Confusing, those rules, huh? That’s why I plan on having only one. Only me for only him, and vice versa.”
“Another monogamist. Yeah, I’ve heard it all from Eli.”
He walked away laughing, but I stuck my ground. I knew what I wanted and that was what I wanted.
I’d spoken to a therapist about it, of course. So many friends of mine in the past and present have had open relationships. I thought myself weird for wanting just one guy and wanting that one guy to want me alone. Going to clubs, watching shows, looking at other men, sure, but then, we’d go home together. I thought that was what I’d had with Jeffery. Then I learned differently.
The therapist said that it was my upbringing, seeing a happy couple. That was the base for my needs as an adult. I wanted what my parents had, simple as that. I thought there were a million reasons, mostly my fear of abandonment, but the therapist shrugged that off quickly.
“You can be abandoned by one man as easily as two or three. Easier.”
Maybe he was wrong, but it did make sense. I envied my parents, and their happiness. I wanted that for myself.
I wanted that. Someday, I’d find it, as silly as it might be to all my new friends and their gaggle of sex partners. One beautiful man, I thought, and then Rick’s face drifted into my mind.
That was exactly the thing I needed before my shower. Not.
I cleaned myself fast, ignoring my dick except to wash it, pushing Rick out of my thoughts. Even the masked man, the one that intrigued me so, couldn't come into my thoughts like Rick did. Maybe that was because Rick dominated my mind.
Pitiful, I thought of myself. A crush had me pushing away something that could be great.
After I got a huge mug of coffee, I left the house to sit on the porch and watch the people all over the place. Damon was riding horses with two others, out on the long stretch in front of the house. The big barrel barbeque was smoking and cooking steaks and chicken, coolers were being opened, and beer, fancy bottled water, and soda were being taken from them to combat the heat of the day.
Joel was laughing with a spiky-haired man as they walked near the porch, and I called down to him. “Joel, come up here.”
They came up onto the porch and Joel introduced the man who was covered with tattoos on both arms and from under his shirt up to his neck. “Hey, Kan! This ‘ere is Xen. He’s a good friend. He’s the one that did the mural.”
“Oh! You’re the artist!” I got up and shook his hand after he’d given me a little, shy wave. “Nice to meet you, Xen.”
“He don’t talk much, but he ain’t dumb or nothin’!”
Xen giggled silently and I said, “I never would think that.”
“Ya wanna get some grub?”
“No, I’m not quite hungry yet, but thanks. What are you two up to?”
Xen stuck out his thumb and pointed to Joel with it, smiling crookedly.
“He means we’re gonna go get some grub.”
“Oh. Well, have at it, but don’t think I’ve forgotten about grilling you.”
Xen glanced at Joel, who shrunk in on himself. “It’s ain’t nothin’ bad,” he told Xen, then leaned in to whisper to him, and as I watched Xen’s handsome face, seeing his eyes widen and his grin do the same, I wanted to throttle Joel.
“You’ll tell him but not me?”
“One, it ain’t ‘bout him. Two, he don’t talk much, so I ain’t worried a bit ‘bout him blabbin’.”
Xen did that silent laughing thing again, and it struck me how absolutely adorable he was. “You’re…are you into the lifestyle?”
As he nodded vigorously, Joel explained, “Oh, he’s a kinky thin’. He don’t do it much in front o’ folk, but he’s tol’ me some.”
