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“Shut up, Xen,” Clover said, giggling. “You are too, you little shit.”
An exaggerated wink was given to him by Xen.
I stayed and visited them for a while, then found Burke near the stable. I gave him a hug and he asked, “Here to figure out what the hell is going on, huh?”
“How’d you know?”
“Joel texted me as soon as you left the guest house. He’s a good boy, our sub. Don’t be mad at him.”
“I couldn’t ever be mad at Joel. I get it, no one wants me to get hurt again. I’m guessing this has to do with Rick, and he’s bi-curious. I’ve seen the way he looks at me sometimes, but he’s been straight all his life.”
“Wow…that’s…logical of you.”
I leaned back on the side of the stable, watching the goats playing in the paddock to the left. “Logical, that’s me.”
“Logic and love have different goals, you know. If I was logical, would I have gotten into a permanent relationship with another top? Or looked for a third? Would I have everything I have right now? No, because none of it was logical. A city boy, buying a ranch in the country? Having animals, and further, building a sex club in an old barn? None of it is logical in the least.”
I heard him but didn’t know what to say in return. “I…have to be logical right now.”
“I get it, Kan. Just don’t let logic get in the way of the magic.”
Chapter Sixteen
RickandIcontinuedto run together each morning, and his flirting had increased. I flirted back cautiously, still unable to trust that everything would turn out the way I wanted.
I grew closer to the kids, each day going over plans with Chandler, managing budgets, discussing transportation, and how to manage his time for school and having fun. He was set to concentrate on his studies, but a boy from a small town hitting the city for the first time…
“Chan, you are going to go to dance clubs, and you’ll be surrounded by gorgeous men. Now, that is another topic, how to be safe and careful.”
“I’ve told you before, Kan. I want one guy.”
“You say that now, but you’ve never been in a gay club, surrounded by hot men all wanting to…hang out with you.”
“I’m eighteen, Kan. You can say fuck in front of me,” he said, blowing a long huff of air before he explained to me like I was three, “I’m very aware of how things are with other gay men, especially younger gays like me. I understand that fun and fucking are the goals of a lot of us, but not all. We’re maturing as a generation to be more responsible in all things. We want to have fun in bed, but we also have other concerns.”
I loved that he thought that way, but I was skeptical. “Still. Humor me. Pack a ton of condoms, and if you do decide to go for it with more than one guy, then get on PrEP.”
“I’ll humor you, Kan. I promise you that I won’t ever screw around unsafely, and I won’t get lost. I’ll travel in packs of people, be aware of my surroundings, keep my money in my front pocket, and…”
“Chandler! We’ve gone over so much more than that.”
“I can’t list them all off right now, but if I’m in the situations, I will definitely remember what you’ve taught me.”
His eyeliner was thick that day, and the darkness of it made the gold flecks in his eyes shine. He was so like his dad, but his dad didn’t have to wear eyeliner. His eyes shined all the time.
“Thanks, Chandler. I’m just gonna worry like crazy.”
“You and my dad, yeah, I know,” he said miserably, and for the first time, knowing Chandler better, I understood his sadness.
“It doesn’t mean we don’t have a lot of confidence in you.”
“Sure.”
“No, Chandler, it’s true.”
Side-eyeing was Chandler’s specialty, and he gave me a scathing one at that moment. “You, maybe. Not Dad.”
“I thought you guys had made up and dealt with your differences.”
