AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“He’s still treating me like a child. He wants to keep me home, and he knows he can’t, so he’s being overly sweet and trying to look so genuine.”
It was my turn for my eyes to roll. “Jesus, that’s your biggest complaint? Chandler, do you want him to mope? Be cranky all the time?”
“Well, come to think on it, he’s been happier than usual. Maybe that’s not all an act.”
He rose and left the patio table and me to gawk after him.
We had many such interactions, but I knew no one would listen to my pleas to know the truth. I thought I knew, anyway, being the millions of hints given by everyone who knew. Which was…at that point, everyone but me.
Rick stared at me openly, his words to me said in hushed tones or grunted ones, like his passion was overcoming his voice. I felt the same but still held back my hopes in case it turned out badly.
The week leading up to the next opening of Cowpokes, I was nervous. I was going to dance mostly naked in front of a room full of men. I would do scenes with other men and mingle and pretend to flirt with others.
When we ran that Friday, he knew I was leaving soon after for the weekend. I expected him to be sullen or even upset, but he was as chipper as always, even cracking jokes on our descent from the hill we’d climbed.
When we got back to the patio, we sat and caught our breath, drank water and I watched him staring at me. “What?” I asked finally.
“Nothing, just…gonna be weird around here the next couple days.”
“Am I that much of a fixture now?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “A very good fixture.”
The silence hung between us, heavy, the heat rose through it like a hot knife in butter, but still the quiet overtook everything in the end. He got up from the table abruptly and bade me goodbye and hoped for me to have a nice time.
That was it.
I got angry. Okay, the dancing around for over two months had left me dizzy. I fully understood that, for someone questioning their sexuality, time wasn’t important. Their comfort was, but that didn’t stop the anger.
Everyone knew, everyone was in on the wait for something to happen. Even if that something ended up being a friendship, but nothing. No movement either way. He wasn’t backing off but made no moves to tell me he cared.
I finished packing my backpack and got out of there as quickly as I could. I knew if I saw him again, I’d blurt out something because of my annoyance and that would be a disaster.
The place was jumping as people rolled in from morning to night that Friday. I parked and was met by Damon. “The main attraction,” he said as he patted my back in the hug.
“I’m about to lose my mind. If this goes on much longer, I’m going to beat all of you.”
“And we’ll all deserve it,” he said, then leaned in to whisper, “I voted to tell you right away, but I was in the very small minority.”
“So most everyone wants to see me crazy? Got it,” I said, but I laughed some of my anger off and relaxed some. “Full house again?”
“Yes. We had two cancel, but then we got two member requests last minute. Beast knows the sub from Chaps. Seems he had danced there a few years back. He was the reference.”
“They’re from Denver?” I asked, worried that I’d know the men.
“Yes, but chances are, they’re not in your circle. The sub hadn’t been to Chaps for a few years, and was in a relationship with a couple guys. Anyway, if they’re someone you put a stop to, you know you have a say, right? We care about you, Kanan.”
“Do you know the names?”
“I don’t, off the top of my head. Burke issued the membership after speaking to Beast. I’ll ask him and get back to you,” he assured, right before we saw Joel running over to us.
“Danged ol’ showerhead is leakin’ purty bad, Damon!”
“Shit. Of course, it is. I’ll go deal with that, you get settled in the attic. You know where it is.”
I did but didn’t quite make it to the porch, as Xen was running from the barn in my direction, waving like mad. “Hey, Xen.”
I got a kiss on the cheek once he reached me and rose on his tippy toes to do it. He then took my hand and pulled me along toward the barn. “Won’t I see that soon enough?”
