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“I know,” he said, then turned fully to me, hooking his leg up on the couch between us. “You’re supposed to be floundering. Love isn’t some cut and dry thing. Love doesn’t come with an owner’s manual. We flounder, we fret, and, like Noah says, we fuss over it. You love and trust him. You love his kids. You’re living with him, and the baby called you Rick’s husband. Is that what got you scared?”
Eli saw me, and I loved him for that. “Yes. I don’t want to hurt him, Eli. Chandler either.”
“You’re also scared Rick will wake up one day and decide he’s not bisexual.”
“Yes! How could I not be? By the way he tells it, he saw me and suddenly he was bi. That’s not…normal, is it?”
“Yes, it’s normal. From what I’ve read, lots of people wake up one day and figure it out. It may have been there all along, but we suppress it. Shit, we suppress being gay as long as possible. Most of us, anyway, to parents, friends, whatever, so a man that is attracted to women as well as men, how easily could they suppress liking men?”
I was calmer in that moment than I’d been since I’d fallen for the man. “I know I’ve thought of that. All the logic that crowds in when I should just be happy, it’s always getting in the way.”
“Because you left logic at the door with Jeffery. This time around, you think you need it. It’s understandable.”
“But…you and Noah, you like him. Damon and Burke like him, and if Joel wasn’t so shy, and could talk to him, I’m sure he’d like him too.”
“No better recommendations than that, Kan. Noah alone, he’s not an easy one to fool. Noah would see right through Rick if he were hiding something. Noah is Rick’s fan, believe me. Not that he gushes, you know. Noah doesn’t gush, but I’d know for sure if he didn’t trust him. He says his family was here from the start of this town, way back in the early eighteen hundreds or something. They love this place, protect it, and for Noah, that’s big. They’re not so greedy that they expanded the town or their own business enough to ruin it here with buildings and industry.”
“Rick’s proud of that,” I boasted. “He loves this place. He’s instilling it in his kids too. Chandler wants to get away, but not because he hates it here. He’s young and wants to expand his world. I know without a doubt though that he’ll be back plenty if he doesn’t move back after college.”
Dreamily, Eli laid his head on the back of the sofa and whispered, “There’s something about it here. The beauty, sure, but more than that. I feel good here, like it was a home that I just had to find.”
“That’s how I feel. I haven’t had a home since I was ten. Until now, that is.”
“We’re very similar, Kan. I never had real parents, just my grandma, and she was great, but my mom booked, my dad was never there. Growing up without that sense of family, it makes us long for one.”
“Yeah. Eli, that’s what I have, right across the valley, I have that, if I want it. If I can learn to trust it.”
“That’s the trick. I have doubts creep in now and then,” Eli confirmed with a blush across his nose, then he lifted his head to check around the room. “God, don’t tell Noah that.”
“He probably does, too. I’m sure Rick does, but damned if he’ll show it.”
“It’s a Dom thing,” Eli whispered. “They always have to be in charge, even of their emotions. If they have doubts, they’ll hide it most of the time. Sometimes they let it show, and when that happens, you take it seriously. It’s like a cup that’s overfull, and it starts spilling over the lip.”
“They can hold a lot, but I’ll watch for it, and I promise to take it seriously.”
“That’s all you can really do.”
I felt better when I left my friend than I had in a long time. I got home to find the three of my guys in the living room, drinking hot chocolate and watching an animated movie. “Well, hey. Can I join in the fun?”
Colby jumped off his dad’s lap and ran over to greet me with the best hug. “Come here, come here! Aladdin is about to fly the carpet!”
Rick was smirking as he said, “He knows this part, Colby. He’s Aladdin, don’t you remember?”
I picked up Colby and held him as I sat next to Rick. “Funny, Rick.”
“Aladdin,” Colby yelled and kissed my cheek. “Now shush!”
“Yes, sir, Colby,” Rick said, leaning over to kiss his cheek before kissing my lips. “Shush, Kan.”
“Yes, Sir, Rick.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Thatnextafternoon,wewere sitting in the kitchen having lunch after Rick got back from a meeting with the chamber of commerce. He was excitedly telling me about it as Colby voraciously ate his dessert of an ice cream sandwich.
“They love the compromise we made for the hotel. It will bring people into town without it being overrun with assholes. I got a lot of support, but Jack Neely did bitch about just about everything.”
“Jack Neely. Isn’t he the one that owns the apartment complex?”
