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Ruby starts laughing again, and this time it's the kind of hysterical giggles that cause her to lean against Dexter and put one hand over her mouth. Her face turns pink as she looks around, obviously hoping that no one is taking video of her having a laughing fit.
Behind them, Banks waits patiently, feeling a lightness as he listens to Ruby's laugh. It's been too long since he's seen her this happy, and even he can barely stifle a chuckle at the new information about Ruby's secret tattoo. This is a tidbit about her that he did not know.
Ruby and Dexter start walking again, but closer to one another this time. Banks notices and wonders whether it's the wine or the freedom of wandering a foreign village that has lifted Ruby's spirits, but either way, he's glad to see it. Her feelings about Etienne and Julien are valid ones, and she can't help but be uncomfortable staying at their home while discussing delicate financial and emotional matters--anyone would be. And talking to Ruby over lunch has given Banks a whole new respect for her; it's not every public figure who would look at a member of their security team and see them as a real person with feelings and depth, but he's not surprised one bit to learn that Ruby sees him that way.
Ruby tugs on Dexter's arm and steers him into a shop that sells nothing but berets and scarves. Their happy chatter follows them, trailing off as they cross the threshold of the store together and step into a shop with music pulsing from its speakers.
As usual, Banks adopts his wide stance, shoulders squared, hands clasped in front of him, back to the shop window. He looks out at the street, scanning, scanning. Watching, waiting. He never expects anything bad to happen, but he's prepared regardless.
He will do anything to protect Ruby.
Chapter11
Etienne
Julien's words are distressing and his feelings cannot be denied.
"Honey," Etienne says to him in French, "I just...your father and I wanted you so much. Wewantedyou. You were never a mistake."
Julien is pacing back and forth in the middle of the den, his feet bare. He has a hand shoved into his hair and he's looking somewhat less ill, if a bit tired.
"But Ruby is here to pay you off or something, right? To give you money to shut up about me? To make me go away?"
Etienne has been standing with her back to the bookcase, one arm crossed over her midsection and the other hand covering her mouth as she watches her beloved son. Her baby. Her little boy who has grown into a young man. He is so beautiful. He is her entire heart in one human being.
Her hand falls away from her mouth. "Julien," she pleads. "No." Etienne reaches out a hand and grabs his arm as he paces by her yet again. He is a caged animal who looks like he might burst if she can't calm him. "Please listen."
The sun is setting and the front door opens and closes loudly as Dexter, Ruby, and Banks walk in, arms full of shopping bags, faces and voices laced with the kind of joy that comes from an afternoon of good food and adventure.
"Hello?" Ruby says, shushing Dexter. They quiet down. "Etienne?"
Etienne shoots Julien a long look. "We're in here," she says. The lights are on in the den, but the rest of the house is dark as it approaches twilight. "Please come in."
The moment Ruby walks into the den she takes in the scene and turns to the two men. "Could you please excuse us?"
Dexter and Banks retreat wordlessly, and for this, Etienne is grateful. She has seen in the short time they've been there that Dexter is a man of his word, and that he will not intrude on matters involving Julien without express permission.
"Is everything okay?" Ruby asks carefully, closing the glass doors behind her to shut the den off from the rest of the house. Etienne knows from experience that the doors merely muffle the words--it's not soundproof, by any means--but she appreciates the gesture.
"Julien is struggling with some things," Etienne explains, her eyes on her son's face as he starts to pace again. "And I'm afraid I didn't anticipate how he might feel when I invited you to come here."
"Oh," Ruby says, looking entirely sobered. The lighthearted freedom of the afternoon falls away from her face and the weight of their situation returns. She sinks down on the couch, looking dejected. "I'm so sorry, Julien. I never meant for my presence to upset you. This is your home."
Etienne watches Ruby closely and she's suddenly hit by the ridiculousness of this situation: she's stolen away something from Ruby that she can never give back. She's upended another woman's feelings of safety and security in the world, and essentially turned her marriage into a lie. Of course, it never felt that way to Etienne in the moment; she and Jack had truly been in love, and they'd been happy, and they'd managed their life together in a way that somehow excluded the outside world--including his family. Had that been right or fair? Certainly not, but it had been real.
Etienne blocks out the frenzied pacing of her son as she focuses on Ruby, sitting there on her couch. She's once again inserted herself into this woman's life, sending a letter and then inviting her here to ask her not for forgiveness, but formoney. What could she have been thinking? A sudden pulsing in Etienne's forehead forces her to put her fingertips to both temples and massage them. She closes her eyes.
I'm not this person, she thinks.I'm better than this. Jack loved a woman who was strong and independent and not a complainer. He would hate what I'm doing to his wife. But she isn't sure how to stop it all now. She needs the money for Julien's care, and she needs some sort of closure of her own. She needs to feel that her time with Jack is somehow legitimized, that she wasn't justthe mistressorthe other woman. Etienne wants to be acknowledged as the mother of his child, and she realizes now how outlandish that is to expect Ruby to be the one to do it.
"Ruby," she starts, taking her hands from her temples and opening her eyes. "This has all turned into something that--"
Ruby stands, holding up a hand to stop Etienne. "I shouldn't have come," she says firmly. "I should have simply responded to your email and been done with this." Her face sets in a hard line as she speaks; this is the first time Etienne has ever seen her look angry. "Coming here, bringing Dexter with me...I shouldn't have."
"Dexter is fine," Etienne assures her soothingly. "He's barely noticeable. And he and I have spoken about what he is and isn't allowed to write in his book."
"That's not the point," Ruby says, keeping her tone clipped. "That book is mine to steer, and by coming here and bringing Dexter, I give away some of my own power to choose what he sees and hears. And I could have replied to your note and told you everything that I truly need to say."
Julien stops walking and turns to stare at Ruby, just like his mother is doing. They wait on pins and needles to hear that they are nothing but human garbage to her--a disaster, a car crash, a footnote in the history of a great President, and a blight on an otherwise perfect marriage and life. They wait for her to tell them off for asking for anything from a woman who has clearly been wronged by their very existence, and for her to tell them that Jack never cared about them, never mentioned them to her because they were his dirty little secret.
