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“Nothing.” Was it his imagination or was her bright smile a bit forced? “Come on, you'd head out there to say goodbye to your daughter’s guests too. Their parents will expect you to be there.”
She was right, so he reluctantly dropped the subject. The parents showed up on time, thank goodness, but he was more than a little disappointed to discover Jillian slipped away during the chaos.
Without saying goodbye.
* * *
Guilt plagued Jillianthe rest of the weekend. Coward, she admonished herself for the tenth time. She'd taken advantage of the confusion of departing partygoers to leave without speaking to Alec again.
She’d been too afraid he'd notice how hard she was trying not to cry.
Shannon was an amazing little girl. Very bright. Perceptive. Older than her years, mostly due, Jillian suspected, to dealing with her mother's illness. Her heart had ached when the little girl had confessed her dream of becoming a doctor because she wanted to be like the doctors who had taken care of her mother.
And Shannon’s hero worship of her father was understandable as well. Clearly, Alec was as devoted to her as Shannon was to him. Most of all Jillian had been touched at the way Shannon had included her in her generous hugs.
Tears pricked her eyes and she blinked them back with an effort. Since when had she become so emotional? Listening as Shannon had talked about her mother's death, she had remembered her own mother's pain filled demise from multiple sclerosis. Granted, Jillian had been an adult when her mother passed away, not a young child, but sharing that moment with Shannon had made her face a harsh truth.
Until she knew what was wrong with her, she had no business getting close to Alec and Shannon. The last thing Shannon needed was to live through another loss.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Enough wallowing in self-pity. So what if she'd enjoyed the lively chaos created by the Monroe family? She should be happy to have spent a nice day with them, instead of ruminating in the uncertainty of her illness. As an only child of older parents, she'd never been exposed to the incessant teasing the Monroe’s had subjected each other too. She'd been secretly thrilled at how they’d included her in the mix.
“Hey, Jillian, did my brother cry like a baby when you stitched up his wound?” Andrea had asked. “He certainly bawled hard enough when he fell off his bike when he was eight.”
“Speaking of a baby, we had some interesting pictures of Alec as a baby. Mom? Do you have Alec’s baby pictures handy?” Amber had added in a teasing tone. “I bet Jillian would love to see them.”
Alec had taken their teasing in stride, and even Amber had commented on it. “Alec, I can't believe how laid back you are. What happened to the uptight guy I used to know? The one who practically stalked me when I was dating Nick? Are you trying to impress Jillian or what?”
He'd simply grinned and shrugged, refusing to rise to the bait. Jillian could tell they were close, although she got the impression Alec hadn't always been as included in family gatherings as he was now.
Members of the Monroe family had given her a couple of curious stares but overall they'd accepted her presence at Shannon’s party without question. She’d never felt so welcomed by a large family.
At some point during the rest of the weekend she half expected Alec to call, bringing her rude behavior to the forefront. But he didn't. Her stomach went queasy when she realized he might be angry with her.
And suddenly the thought of never speaking to Alec again was unbearable. With determination she pulled out her phone along with the small scrap of paper he'd given her with his number on it and dialed. Relief warred with disappointment when the call went to voicemail.
“Alec, I'm sorry I left so quickly yesterday. Please forgive me. I had a wonderful time.” She hesitated, tempted to add more, but forced herself to press the end button. Hopefully he would accept her apology. And maybe he would even contact her.
But as the hours ticked away, Alec didn’t return her call.
* * *
Tuesday morning Jilliandragged herself out of bed, scrubbing the grit from her eyes. Another restless night. She’d been anxious about her upcoming evoked potential testing, tossing and turning, trying to pray for peace, even as her mind darted back to the upcoming appointment. She was afraid of the test itself, almost as much as what the results might be.
She'd worked a day shift on Monday, and thankfully things had been relatively quiet. No major trauma victims, although the steady stream of patients had kept her busy enough to make the time pass quickly. No missing narcotics, either which had also been a relief.
Annoyingly enough, she'd spent most of the time expecting Alec to drop by. By the time she'd gone home, she'd reminded herself that getting involved with Alec and Shannon was a bad idea.
Hadn't she decided not to have expectations for her future until she knew what was wrong with her? Yes. And apparently, Alec felt the same way.
After crawling from bed and taking a quick shower, she dressed in a pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt as she’d been told to wear loose clothing.
She decided to skip breakfast. The instructions for the test limited her to clear liquids which meant she couldn't even have coffee as she preferred a heavy dose of cream. Fearing she might throw up anyway, it was probably better to go without. On her way to the hospital, her stomach gurgled as if it was full of jumping beans fighting for a way out.
The evoked potential testing was done in the neurology clinic. She made her way to the third floor and after checking in, took a seat in the waiting room. It felt odd to be on the other side of the clinic setting, as a patient instead of being the physician in charge.
After ten long agonizing minutes, she debated going back up to the desk to remind the staff she was still waiting. Didn't they know how long ten minutes was when you were sitting around, doing nothing, and expecting the worst?
“Jillian?”
