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“Mother didn’t think so.”
“I don’t blame you because you were young too, and you’re a bit younger than me, but Aunt Betty never said anything against Mum as far as I know.”
“Maybe she’s afraid your Mum will get on her back. Also, Mother’s ashamed and doesn’t want to cause any strife.”
Rainier raised an eyebrow. “What on Earth would Betty have to be ashamed about? You? That was ages ago, and she never seemed-”
“It’s not me,” said Natalie. “She’s gained a bit over the years. She tries to lose weight sometimes, and she makes the cook at home give us bland meals when she’s trying. She’ll say she’ll stick to some food plan she created in her mind, but she never actually does it, and I don’t see how boring rice and chicken with no seasoning is going to help her lose weight. The rest of the time, the meals are still dull. Why do you think I eat so much when we come over? Your cook actually knows what seasoning is.”
He stared at her. “I thought you ate like that all of the time.”
“No! Mother thinks I’m naturally skinny or that I’ve got some secret, but I don’t always finish my meals at home because some of the stuff makes me want to gag. You try eating plain rice and dry chicken for several days on end. Mother makes me eat the same crap because she says I need to support her, and I can’t be eating something different. She doesn’t get that if she ate less, she could lose some weight. She thinks you’ve got some magic young person secret too. I know Mother eats in secret too. That’s why she’s ashamed, and your Mum makes her feel bad by basically existing while so thin.”
Dear Elira.
“Don’t you remember how dull the food was the last time you came over? That’s why we usually come here. Your Mum doesn’t want the food at our house.”
“I was what, eleven the last time we went? I don’t remember what we ate.”
“That’s probably for the best. Mother won’t even fire our cook because she’s old and needs the money.”
“I thought you ate big meals all day and stayed skinny,” said Rainier.
“Hardly. I can’t wait until I get married and move out. I’ll have a cook who knows what a damn peppercorn is.”
He chuckled, but it was a bit forced. “Our family is fucked up about food.”
Natalie paused. “I guess we are. I didn’t really think about that.”
Probably because it had started to seem normal. Rainier hadn’t even thought Mum’s treatment was abuse until Felix said something. Controlling his intake had become a part of his life to where he’d even lie if it meant keeping it the way he thought it should be.
“I can’t stay long because Mother wants to have lunch and get going,” said Natalie.
“How’s Mum?”
She made a doubtful noise. “A bit quiet. I can tell she’s definitely pissed although she didn’t mention you. I have no idea if her and Mother have spoken about this in private. Mother’s off too because she knows something is wrong, and she didn’t say it directly, but I think she’s mad at Eliza. Of course, she won’t stir up anything. Eat, Rainier. You’re not fat, and I want you to be better.”
She stood to kiss the side of his head. If only it was so easy.
“Oh, and maybe you should marry Felix since he came back for you. He’s cute too. If he was straight, I’d scoop him right up and take him home.”
Rainier laughed as he imagined Felix’s face if he was kidnapped by the Princess. He wouldn’t say he’d already sort of asked, and Felix had already sort of said yes. “I’ll think about it.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Rainier cringed at himself in the looking glass. The sight of his body was never comforting since he kept expecting to see himself getting fatter, and he was sure he’d gained weight now.
He stared at his ribs and was positive they were quite as sharp as last week. Felix had been getting him to eat what he’d agreed to without fail. He’d had to go buy more mellyballs and other fruits to press. Rainier had said he could give his hands a break and skip the juice, but Felix was insistent that he have it.
He turned to look at his back. Was his spine less visible or was he imagining it?
Felix knocked and peeked in. “The physician’s gone. What are you doing?”
Rainier snatched the drying sheet from the stool by the tub to give his wet hair another good rubbing. He wasn’t about to go bald anytime soon, but it fell out easier now.
“I’m sure I’ve gained weight.”
“I don’t think you have.”
