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“No,” Charlie says, tackling me and the bear to the bed. We end up in a big, cuddly pile of sheets and limbs and fur. Charlie arranges us with his head on Dinger’s fluffy stomach and my head on his shoulder. “You doing okay, bean?”
“I’m nervous, I guess. I don’t know what Gabe’s going to say or how I’m going to feel about it, but this feels like the right way forward. Maybe I’m the numpty for taking too long to get here. I dunnow.”
Charlie rubs his palm up and down the arm I have draped across his chest. “You’re not a numpty. This has all been a fuck of a lot.”
I nod against his shoulder. “If it’d been you on your own, you’da sorted this out ages ago.”
Charlie snorts. “Or not at all. Like I kept dodging telling you how I felt about you—”
He breaks off when the bathroom door opens. Gabe emerges with a towel wrapped around his lean waist, his hair in damp strings across his forehead. Even in the low light from the bathroom, I can count each one of his ribs. He’s dropped weight again.
“You mind if I grab a T-shirt? Mine’s sweaty,” he asks as he drops the pile of his clothes on a chair.
“MyT-shirt’s sweaty, you mean,” I snark at him.
Gabe’s crooked grin peeps out. He pulls a Bevington Swingers T-shirt out of the dresser. “Too matchy?”
“Nah,” Charlie answers. “I love seein’ you guys in my colors.”
Gabe shrugs into the shirt. He pulls off the towel underneath and drapes it over the back of the chair before climbing into bed with us. I guess he’s not concerned about being bare-arsed.
I turn over in Charlie’s arms so I’m facing Gabe. He stretches out a careful distance from me. There’s a long, strained moment where neither of us reach for each other, then we both do. I rest my hand on his chest, over his heart. His hand steals around my shoulder and tugs me an inch closer.
I fold my other hand under my cheek and meet his aqua eyes. “Awkward, huh?”
Chapter18
Pink Toothbrush Blues
He nods. “I really want to hold you.”
“Too soon,” I say.
“I know. I just miss you. I miss being able to hug you whenever I wanted. Being close to you.”
But you didn’t miss being close to Charlie, I almost say, but I keep the accusation locked behind my teeth. This isn’t the time to let anger rule me. I said I was ready to listen to him and I am.
“So, Rachel mentioned you slept with her and Wyatt a couple of nights while I was gone,” I offer, to give him an opening to say whatever it is he wants to say.
“Yeah, I did,” Gabe says, shifting his head so he’s looking at me from behind his fringe.
“You never told me that, mate,” Charlie says softly from where he’s spooned behind me.
Gabe shrugs the shoulder he’s not lying on. “I’m sorry. There’s a lot of stuff I didn’t tell you. I didn’t know how.” His hand drifts up from my shoulder to trace the curve of my cheek with one finger. “I still don’t. I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure how to explain what I’ve been feeling.”
“We’ve all been on a roller-coaster,” I offer.
“Yeah.” His fingertips trace my jaw. “You were there one second and the next you just disappeared. I’ve seen you Earth-Walk. It wasn’t like that. You weregone. Charlie swore you’d find some way to come back to us but I didn’t even know where you’d gone to. What if we’d killed you, pushing so much magic through you? What if we disintegrated you or something?”
I give him the gentlest smile I can muster. “Disintegrated me?”
A laugh stutters out of him. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I get it. We’re fucking around with magic I’ve never even heard of, much less been taught to control. I understand why you guys were scared. Hells, I was terrified I’d never be able to get back to you.”
“But you never gave up,” Gabe says, his fingers feathering over my lips.
Behind me, Charlie snorts. “I told you, it’s not in Teddy’s nature.”
