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He folds his arms over his chest. “Less of a fool than sending you fifteen unanswered texts a day for a week?”
“I’msorryabout that.”
Darwin’s silver gaze flicks to my hips, where I realize I’ve planted my fists.
I shake my hands out again and twist them together behind my back.
Darwin sighs and tips his head from side to side until his neck cracks. I wince at the sound which conveys so much tension.
“I didn’t call you over to fight,” I say, trying to backtrack from the corner I’ve pushed us into,again. “I’m trying to apologize.”
Darwin crosses his arms over his chest. He’s wearing black jeans and a heather-gray sweater. It’s probably below freezing outside, but he’s not wearing a coat or shoes. He doesn’t look cold. Steam rises in wisps from his skin. That should make me nervous, because it betrays how close Darwin’s Fire-magic is to breaking free. But I don’t fear Darwin’s magic anymore.
“Are you?” he asks. “Because for someone who told me I was incapable of apologizing a few days ago, you’re doing the worst job of it I’ve ever heard. My little sister grovels better than this, and she’s five.”
My face burns. “Hey—”
The corners of his mouth twitch, then he breaks into a grin. He opens his arms and holds his hands out to me.
“Seriously? We’re rowing here.”
“You just told me you didn’t call me over to fight.” Darwin makes grabby hands. “Come here, Teddy. If you’re really trying to apologize, give me this. I’m fucking desperate to hold you.”
I close the distance between us. Instead of hugging me, Darwin grabs my hips and pulls me up against his chest. His big hands span my thighs and he tugs until I wrap my legs around his waist. He walks me backwards into the dining area and props my arse on the edge of our dining table. With his arm banded around my back, he crushes me to his chest. His other hand slides up my back to cup my nape.
“Now, try this again. You were groveling.”
“I was not.”
“You should. In all seriousness, Teddy, you don’t treat people you love the way you treated Gabe and me—”
“I know!” I wail. “I’m sorry!”
“I forgive you. Fuck, stop.” He runs his thumb under my eye, smearing wetness I wasn’t aware of. “Don’t cry. I’m not worth that.”
“What do you mean, you’re not worth that? Of course, you’re worth that. You’re worth a million tears. And don’t think I haven’t shed more’n a few these past weeks. I was missing you and afraid I’d never see you again when I was stuck in the future and then I got back and everything was fucked to fuck and I was so fucking pissed at you two and even then, I was missing you like fuck. I couldn’t understand how we fucked up something so perfect so fast.”
Darwin sighs. “That’s something I asked myself quite a few times as well.” He cups my nape again, his thumb rubbing up and down under my ear. “I missed you so much, Teddy. I know you didn’t do it on purpose, but withholding yourself from me and Gabe the way you have ... it’s the cruelest thing you could have done—”
“I’msosorry!”
“I forgive you.” He brushes his lips across mine. “I’m not even angry at you anymore. Just don’t do it again. I can’t take it. Thinking I’d lost you forever and then opening my door that morning and finding you standing there, just to lose you all over again? It destroyed me. I told you Gabe was shattered, but that wasn’t the whole truth. He dealt with it better than I did. I was the one who lost all hope. I can’t do it again, Teddy.”
“You won’t have to. I promise.” I press my forehead against his. “I swore to Gabe that I wouldn’t ever listen to my anger over my heart again. I’ll promise you the same thing. I’ll wait. I’ll listen. But you have to promise me something, too. You tried to take all the blame. You can’t do that.”
He rolls his head to rub his cheek against mine. “Every choice seemed wrong. I stayed away the first few days after you vanished because you told me not to get between Gabe and Charlie, not to interfere. But then Gabe moved out and I didn’t know if I should push him back to Charlie or leave it alone. When I tried to talk to him about it, he told me some crazy story about your toothbrush?”
I hiccup on something that’s almost a sob. “He told me about the toothbrush.”
“I told Gabe I’d fix things, but I couldn’t. He was completely lost without you. Nothing I said or did helped. He kept going missing. I was late to one of my exams trying to track him down. I have a C average for the first time in my life and I’m fucked when my father finds out, but I don’t care—”
“We’ll fix that,” I promise.
He lets out a long, low breath. “It’s so far down the list of things I’m worried about, Teddy. All I’ve been able to think about ... all I care about, is this. I can’t concentrate on anything else. All that matters is getting Gabe back together with you and Charlie. It’s done, right? You’ve forgiven him?”
“We’re getting there.” I stroke a feather of ash-blond hair back from his face. “But that isnotall that matters. You matter. We matter. You tried to sacrifice yourself for him. For us. You can’t do that again. Why’d you let me think you were to blame?”
His silver eyes darken. “I thought you’d take him back if I took the brunt of your anger.”
