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“That’s not the way this works.” I trace my fingers down his high cheekbone, to his jaw, remembering the scar future-Darwin had there. I never even got to ask him how he got it. I know these men so well in some ways and not at all in others. “Gabe’s not our weak link and you’re not our sacrificial lamb. We give each other our truths, no matter how hard they are to hear. We call each other on our bullshite—”
Darwin chuckles, although his smile is twisted. “One thing I can always count on with you.”
“You know it, mate. But you need to call me on mine.”
“Sounds like a recipe for getting punched in the throat again.” He cups my face. “I get lost, Teddy. I get turned around until all I have left are wrong choices. I’ve lost you and Gabe so many times. I’ve beenthisclose and seen it go fucking pear-shaped over and over. I thought if I could just make this one thing right, if I could just fix this for Gabe—”
Shaking my head, I kiss the words off his lips. “No more martyrdom. No sacrificing yourself for Gabe. Or for me. That’s not how this works. We’re not whole without you. We need you.Ineed you. Gabeneedsyou.”
He swallows hard. “You do?”
“We do. Do you need us?”
His breath escapes on a wet, broken note. “So much.”
I wind our fingers together as I kiss him again. “Then promise me you won’t sacrifice yourself for any of us like that again. No more evasions. Only truth between us.”
“You have no idea what you’re asking. I’m fae, Teddy. I’ve been taught to weave half-truths from the cradle—”
“I know exactly what I’m asking. I was taught the same things. My Da and my brothers, they’re all in the game. Sometimes I think my Da wouldpreferto lie, even when the truth would serve him just as well. The truth offends him that fucking much. I don’t want to be like him. I want what’s between us to be real and true.”
He sucks in another deep breath and nods. “I want that, too. I want to be able to believe what you say without constantly looking for hidden meanings. I want to believe you when you say you—” His voice catches. “When you say you need me—”
“I do need you,” I tell him between kisses. “I will nevernotneed you.”
“Teddy.” He presses his forehead to mine. “Teddy, I need-I need this to work this time. I don’t think I can stand it again—”
“It will,” I promise. “Neither of us will fuck it up. And if we do, we’ll call each other out. No more bullshite.”
He lifts our joined hands and presses them palm to palm. “This was it for me. My last effort. Once you and Gabe were back together, I—”
Feeling something very cold behind his words, I wrap my other arm around his shoulders. “You what?”
“I—” His fingers lace through mine and I feel the tremble in them. It shivers through his shoulders. Down his back.
“Darwin, what? What? Tell me.”
Chapter21
Faeding Grace
“Iwas going to let myself fade.”
Fading’s the way an otherwise-immortal fae commits suicide.
I sink my hand into his hair and pull his head back so I can look into those tarnished silver eyes. I shake him. “You don’t do that,” I hiss. “You never do that. You never give up. You never stop fighting.”
He swallows but doesn’t try to shake off my grip. “You don’t understand—”
“Yes, I do! I’ve been there. I cowered in the damn closet, listening to his footsteps coming up the stairs. I buttoned my shirtsleeves down and pulled my socks up over the bruises. I hid when I could and took the beating when I couldn’t, but I never,evergave up. I willnevergive up. Don’t you dare.” Tears spring hot to my eyes and roll cold down my cheeks. “Don’t you dare give up on me. Don’t you ever.”
“You had Charlie. YouhaveGabe.” His body heaves against mine. His beautiful face is drawn into lines of agony. “I’ve been alone.”
“You’re not now. You won’t be again. I promise. I promise, Darwin.” I release his hair and let his head fall forward until our foreheads press together. “I promise. But don’t you ever give up.”
“You can’t keep that promise,” he chokes.
“You have no idea the lengths I’ve gone to, to keep that promise. I’ve turned Time inside out. But I kept my promise, Darwin. I got back to my husbands in the future. I fixed things between them. I came back to you boys. You’re not alone now. You’re not alone in the future. You’re never alone again. I promise you. So, you swear to me, you won’t do that. You won’t ever give up. You won’t let yourself fade.”
