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“Was the baby mine?”
“Gabe said they made sure of it.”
“Fuck.” He buries his face in my shoulder. “I won’t ask that. I don’t care about heirs and the fucking line of succession. If never having my baby means you stay safe, that I don’t lose you, then we’re never having a baby.”
“Wrong,” I say.
Chapter36
Shared Ferocity
“Teddy?” His voice is shaky and uncertain.
Mine’s not. I’ve been down this road already. I know where it leads.
“No one threatens me into changing my life,” I tell him. “Da did that to me for too long. I’m done with being afraid. If you don’t want me to have your baby, then I won’t. But I want kids. Until I met Gabe, I never thought about having a family of my own. I honestly wasn’t sure I’d live that long anyway. But now that you lads are making me believe we could have a future together, I want one. I want a loud, crazy family that makes everyone but my Auntie Jill run a mile. I want to be that family that everyone avoids at reunions but are the life of the party. I’m not in any hurry. I’m not going to do anything like get pregnant without you lads agreeing to it. But I want a family. I won’t be threatened into giving up my dreams.”
Darwin’s breath feathers hot over my neck. “Teddy. My fierce teddy bear.”
“You really need to stop calling me that.”
“Not going to happen. Particularly when you say things like that. Your ferocity does things to me.” He rolls his hips against my backside so I can feel what my ferocity does to him. He’d better not just be teasing me with all this talk of shagging. “It brings out the best in me.”
“If that’s the best of you, mate, we have problems.”
He chuckles. “If you can be that fearless, I can, too.”
“I’m not fearless. I’m just hella stubborn.”
His chuckle blooms into a laugh that rolls over the water, silencing the fucking loons. “You certainly are.”
He steers us back to the dock and shows me how to tie up the boat and secure the cover, since I know nothing about boats. I run back up the dock when we’re done, trailing his family’s tartan like a flag, and dive into the cottage’s warmth gratefully. Held by my Fire-mage, I was warm enough out on the water, but once I got out of the boat, the night’s chill caught up to me quickly.
I hover in front of the fire, rubbing my hands and bouncing from one foot to the other, wishing I’d worn my Docs or at least some thicker socks. I dressed up for our date—not as much as I would’ve if we’d gone to Paris, I admit—but I put on a cropped jumper, wide-leg pants, and flats. Now, I’m seriously regretting my fashion choices. I’da been a lot warmer in one of Charlie’s sweatshirts and trackie bottoms.
The fire crackles and flares as my Fire-mage approaches. He fans his fingers and blows across them, causing clusters of candles on the stone mantle and side tables to leap to life. Closing his hand, he dims the witchlight until there’s just fire and candle-light pushing back the shadows.
“Here, Teddy,” he says when he reaches me. He runs his hands up and down my back, filling me with both his magic and his warmth. I sigh as my teeth stop chattering and feeling rushes back into my fingers and toes.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, his lips grazing my ear. “I never think about the cold.”
“I noticed, mate.” I try not to compare my boys, but Charlie doesn’t have to think about the cold, either. He was still wrapping me up before we went to look at the fall colors. I shake that thought off. My lads are very different; they occupy different spaces in my life and heart. There’s room for all of them.
“Let me warm up other places?”
I almost laugh at his lame segue but bite my tongue. For all his dominance with Gabe and his obvious ability getting girls to date him, Darwin is awkward when it comes to actual sex. Maybe he’s always relied on his glamor before when dealing with his lovers. But he’s not nearly as suave as I expected him to be.
I like his awkwardness, I realize as I pull my jumper over my head and turn so his hands, which were on my back, hover over my chest. I don’t hold anyone’s past against them. But I had Darwin pegged as a bit of a fuck-boy. I’m glad to be wrong. His earnest eagerness is endearing.
“How about here?” I ask, glancing down at his hands and my breasts.
“Ah.” He recovers quickly from any surprise at finding himself with a half-naked girl. His hands slip down over my breasts, smoothing my skin under his palms through my bra. I’m glad I changed out of my sports bra and into something lacy.
Given how rough I’ve seen him be with Gabe, he’s unexpectedly gentle as he caresses my breasts. His fingers are feather light. He watches his hands move on me with a rapt attention that makes me feel precious, cherished.
Although I’m crazy about what Gabe and Charlie do to me, Darwin’s tenderness flips a different set of switches. The feelings he stirs in me are softer, sweeter, but no less true. There’s an innocence to it—even though neither of us is innocent and what we’re going to do isn’t innocent at all—like when I was a kid and imagined what sex would be like with only what I saw on telly to inspire me.
His eyes flick up to mine. He smiles, a gentle, uncertain smile that probably echoes what’s on my face.
