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“Let’s go,” he said to Colbolt, and with a gentle pat of his side, Valerian set the Maukibou in motion, the creature picking up speed once it found its rhythm.
In a strange twist of fate, I was now on my way out of the forest with a man I didn’t trust, and an animal that seemed to recognize me, despite the rest of the world having forgotten. I didn’t know where I was supposed to go, what I was supposed to do, or who I could trust, but right now that didn’t seem to matter.
For now, at least, I had a direction, and that was more than I’d had a little while ago.
CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
Though I hadn’t spotted or smelled one of the Moon Children since I left the village, it didn’t mean they weren’t still out there. Thoughts of my brother and his pack chasing me across the frozen forest had formed a block of ice in my stomach that just wouldn’t thaw. I didn’t want to admit it, not even to myself, but for the first time, I was scared for my life.
Only, what even was my life anymore? I was me, Amara Wolfsbane, Princess of Windhelm, theDaughter of Ice and Moonlight, as people liked to say; my father—clearly—the ice to my mother’s moonlight. But was that as true today as it was yesterday?
According to Valerian, someone else had taken my place by my parents’ side. A woman calledMalys.Was she the one my mother fussed over, now? Was she the one arguing with my father, now? Or did they get along in ways my father and I didn’t, and couldn’t, sometimes?
It hurt to think about those things, but all I could do right now was think. I didn’t trust the man sitting behind me as far as I could throw him, and while the heat from his body pressing against my back was welcome indeed, I still had to keep my wits about me. And a person with their guard up doesn’t make good idle conversation.
Valerian adjusted his grip on the reins and squirmed, shifting his weight against me. My cheeks flushed. I disliked being this close to him more than I disliked being carted around on the back of a Maukibou. The ride was bumpy, and jumpy. Colbolt was moving quickly, and that made it difficult for me to make myself comfortable.
I planted my hands on Valerian’s legs and used them to push myself forward, putting a little more space between us than there had been a moment ago. Valerian scooted forward again, pressing himself against me once more and sighing with relief after he had settled.
I turned my head to the side. “Do you have to sit so close to me?”
“We’re sharing a saddle,” he said, in his low, gruff voice. “Where am I supposed to sit?”
“I moved up so that we wouldn’t be so close.”
“AndImoved up because I have equipment you don’t.”
“Equipment?” The penny dropped half-a-heartbeat later, and my cheeks flushed even redder. Snowflakes would’ve melted on my face. “That’s just rude.”
“I’m not going to apologize for my anatomy, but I do need a little more room than I was afforded, so I took the opportunity when you moved to ease some of the pain I was in.”
I paused. “I didn’t know you were in actualpain.”
“I was, but it’s better now.”
I inhaled deeply, then exhaled a puff of warm steam. “Next time you’rein pain,tell me instead of squirming and grunting as you have been this whole time.”
“Grunting?”
“Yes.”
“I thought I was masking my discomfort quite well.”
“You thought wrong.”
I turned my eyes to the path ahead of us again and watched Colbolt make tracks through the trees, running my hands through the thick fur behind his neck to keep them warm. Valerian fell silent again, but this time, the silence didn’t last. I decided I’d had enough of my own thoughts for one day.
“Why are you in the Selection?” I asked.
“That’s abrupt,” he said. Then, “I thought we weren’t talking.”
“We weren’t, but I can’t stand the thought of my own…thoughts… anymore.”
“That’s not distressing at all. What thoughts?”
“Don’t deflect.”
“I’m not.”
