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“And then what?” She fists her trembling hands in my shirt, her eyes blazing with emotion. “What are you going to do?”
“I’ll make them suffer in ways no one has ever suffered. Before I fucking kill them.”
She shakes her head. “Please, don’t do that.”
“Why?!” I yell the question, unable to understand why she doesn’t want revenge. It’s something I’ve searched for all my life since my mother’s death, and I can’t imagine anyone else forgoing the satisfaction that comes from destroying the person who stole something from you.
My thoughts reignite the fury within me that craves release. My chest tightens until I can barely breathe while tension thrums through every inch of my body. I let go of her arm to slam my fist in the wall. She cries out in fright while I embrace the pain that shoots through my knuckles.
When I retract my hand from the drywall to examine the injury, Calista gasps. “You’re bleeding!”
Before I can punch the wall again, she reaches for me. With her brow creased, she gently takes my hand, her touch having an immediate effect. The tenderness acts as a balm, easing the blaze of my darker emotions, the ones that threaten to burn me alive as they torment me.
It’s confounding that this woman can tame the violence in me with the mere brush of her skin against mine or with a kind word.
Calista tugs on my hand, urging me to follow her into my bathroom. I lean against the counter as she gathers the medical supplies I used earlier on her feet. Without hesitation, she cleans and bandages my hand.
I watch her.
The way her fingers caress me.
The way her gaze drifts over my face.
The way her body gravitates towards mine.
Every bit of contact with her douses the heat of my rage until something else stirs within me, awakening at her nearness. Desire. How could she ever think I wouldn’t want her? It’s unfathomable to me.
And the reason I’ll never let her go.
Even now, after witnessing the destruction and violence I unleashed, her face holds no traces of judgment. Apprehension, yes. But that’s going to take time to erase. Despite this, her only thought is to soothe and to comfort, as if my suffering were her own.
This humbles me.
When she finishes binding my hand, she looks up at me, her eyes shadowed with concern. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shake my head. “It’ll only make things worse. The thought of someone hurting you… I’ve never felt so out of control.”
Calista drops her gaze, releasing me. I take her face between my hands, willing her to look at me once more. She does and it gives me the wherewithal to tell her the truth.
“You need to know that I won’t change my mind about getting revenge,” I say. “You deserve it, and I need it. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
She slowly nods.
“Good.” I bring out foreheads together, soaking in her presence. It washes over me like a cool mist, putting out the remaining embers heating my fury. At least for tonight. “When it comes to your wellbeing, there are no limits on what I’d do to keep you safe.”
“I know,” she says, her breath a whisper that grazes my mouth. “I haven’t felt safe since my father died. Thank you for protecting me. I just hope it doesn’t…”
“Tell me, Callie.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt. I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you because of me or my past.”
“Everything will be fine.”
I pull her into my arms and guide her head to my chest, needing her close with her body pressed to mine. Hearing her admit she cares for me only makes me want her all the more. But it’s not just that.
It makes me want her affection.
Perhaps, even her love.
