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I’m not sure I know how to encourage or nurture this feeling, but if it gives me more of her, the parts no one else has access to…? I’m going to pursue it until I get what I want. Like a trophy, I’ll display her love for all to see while knowing she’s mine.
“Let’s get you to bed,” I say into the strands of her hair. “You need to sleep.”
She curls her fingers into my shirt. “Stay with me?”
“Of course.”
I step back and take her hand in mine, leading her into the bedroom. The space is dark and quiet, lending itself to intimacy. Not only of the sexual variety, but the emotional ones as well. At this moment, I want to be close to Calista in every way possible, even if it requires me to be vulnerable in a way I find uncomfortable.
I’d do anything to be whatever she needs me to be.
She climbs into the bed and turns to look at me, her gaze full of invitation. And longing. If there’s a possibility that she could feel the same way about me like I do her, I’ll die satisfied.
Calista pats the comforter with a shy expression. “You coming?”
I nod before stripping down to my boxers. Her gaze widens with every article of clothing that hits the floor. The appreciative gleam that lights up the hazel of her eyes instantly makes me hard. When she takes in the length of my cock, it has the fucker jerking and releasing pre-cum.
Before I lose control—for the second fucking time within an hour—I climb into the bed. Her focus never wavers. It stays on me like a shadow, only making it that much harder not to fuck her.
“Come here,” I say, my voice gruff because of the sexual frustration pricking at me.
Calista slides over and presses her body to my side. I nearly fucking sigh because of how much I love the feel of her. Instead, I snake my arm around her back and place my hand on her hip, my grip secure.
We lie in silence and with each passing minute, my body relaxes, the muscles slowly uncoiling. And then molding to her. Calista fits against me like she was made for me. There’s a rightness that settles along my body, allowing me to be at peace in a way that’s unusual.
Funerals are the one of the few places I experience serenity, but that’s changed.
Not only does Calista soothe me, she makes me feel like I’m home.
Chapter35
Calista
I driftin that hazy place between sleep and waking, surrounded by the warmth of Hayden's bed and his comforting presence beside me. His arm rests lightly over my waist, his touch possessive even in rest. A whisper in the dark draws me from slumber as his voice floats over me, stirring my senses.
And burrowing into my heart.
“You’ve been a mystery to me from the moment I first saw you. I’ve spent weeks trying to understand why you’re different than the rest and why you matter when I don’t give a fuck about anyone else.”
Hayden's admission is soft, meant for only me to hear. I remain still, keeping my breathing even as he continues. I don’t want to do anything that’ll stop him from telling me the things inside his mind, the things I’m desperate to know.
“I've never felt this loss of control, this all-consuming need for someone.” His hand flexes against my hip, a sense of urgency in his fingertips. “I can’t let you go now that you're here. If I did, it’d be like removing my lungs. I wouldn’t fucking survive it.”
My chest tightens at his poetic confession, my heart fluttering in response as if trying to escape and fly to him. His need matches my own, the connection between us refusing to be severed, no matter how much I fight it. But surrender means embracing the darkness that is in him.
A darkness that could eclipse my light.
I draw in a shaky breath as his lips graze my forehead in a kiss that’s full of tenderness despite being incredibly soft and brief. “I know you think I only wish to possess you,” he whispers against my hair, “but I want to protect you. To avenge you. And I will, even if it takes the rest of my life. I won’t stop until justice has been served by my hands.”
His arm tightens around me and my body tingles at our closeness, yearning stirring to life once more. I want nothing more than to open my eyes and meet his fervent gaze, to taste the sincerity in his kiss. But I remain unmoving, my pulse racing in time with his. As of now, I’m not ready yet to embrace the truth, even if it’s been spoken in the dark in the barest of whispers.
His confession leaves me in turmoil, torn between fear and desire. The only thing I know for sure is that leaving him is impossible. Not because of him making me stay.
Because of menot wanting to leave.
* * *
I wakethe next morning in a new place, disoriented and alone.
