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Until Hayden’s ready to change, it’s not going to work between us.
That doesn’t mean it’s not killing me.
My steps are heavy as I walk down the sidewalk and climb into a waiting cab.
“Where to?” the driver asks.
“The bank on the corner of Weston Drive.”
“You got it.”
I stare blankly out the window, despite the amount of adrenaline coursing through me. My decision to leave Hayden wasn’t an easy one to make, but it’s the right one. I just wish I could savor this small taste of freedom.
The cab drops me off at the bank first. I head inside and withdraw every single dollar in my account. Going off the grid is hard if you rely on debit cards, and I haven’t forgotten Hayden has a hacker on his payroll.
The next place the cab drops me off is the college campus, where I resist the urge to run all the way to the dormitory. Specifically, Harper’s. To say she’s shocked when she opens the door is an understatement. To say I’m happy to see her is another one.
I throw my arms around her with a small cry. She’s quick to return the hug.
“What the fuck did that asshole do?” she asks. “I swear to God if he’s hurt you, I’m going to kill him.”
The thought of my best friend going up against my boyfriend—ex-boyfriend?—who has actually killed people has a hysterical laugh bubbling up in my chest. She pulls back to stare at me with a frown.
“Uh oh. Let’s get you inside. I’m pretty sure it’s 5 o’clock somewhere,” she mumbles.
I follow her through the doorway, wiping the dampness from my face. The dorm room is small but cozy, with bright string lights hanging from the ceiling and colorful throw pillows on her bed. One wall has been painted a deep purple and is covered in framed prints of impressionist paintings. Her bed has a comforter with a bohemian pattern that matches the fluffy rug. Among the artsy decor, one poster stands out.
“Sarcasm, because punching people is frowned upon,” I read out loud with a smile.
Harper shrugs. “It’s true though.” She sits down and pats the empty spot next to her. “Sit. I know you didn’t come here to stare at my awesome poster.”
“I wish,” I mutter. After I plop onto the mattress, I release a long sigh. “I want to tell you everything, but not right now. Could we pretend to be normal college students for a little while?”
“I didn’t think I’d have to get the bong out this soon, but…” At my eyes widening, she laughs. “I’m just kidding. Let’s order takeout and watch movies until we’re cross-eyed. Does that sound good?”
“It’s perfect.”
“I’ve missed you.”
I lay my head on her shoulder. “I’ve missed you more.”
Harper orders an epic amount of food—pizza, wings, eggrolls, the works. We settle on her bed surrounded by half-empty cartons and proceed to watch hours and hours’ worth of comedies on her laptop. For a little while, we’re just a pair of best friends, laughing over silly movies and bad jokes. No dark shadows from my past, no worries beyond overeating and getting sick.
My friend keeps the mood light, sensing how much I need this. Eventually, she pauses the fifth—or sixth?—movie and turns to me.
“So, are you ready to talk about it?” she asks, her tone gentle but cautious.
I nod. “I think so.”
She takes my hand, letting me know without words that she’s here for me. The words start off slowly, but then spill from me in a rush that’s accompanied with tears. Lots of them. I tell her everything, even though it scares me to be this vulnerable with someone about my secrets and Hayden’s.
Unlike him, I can trust Harper.
By the time I’m done talking about his remorse and apology, along with my doubts and fears, I’m spent. I flop back onto the mound of pillows and close my eyes, now swollen.
“I just need time and distance to process everything that’s happened,” I say, “and I don’t think he’s willing to give that to me, regardless of what he said.”
“First of all, pregnant… A Calista barista is on the way. That means I’m going to be an auntie, which is fucking cool. Second, what’s your plan? Are you going to continue going to school? Classes start the day after tomorrow.”
