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I knocked on her door and she opened it wearing an apron just like her aunt had on when we went out to eat.
“Just in time,” she said. “Come on in. I was about to take the food out of the oven.”
I followed her inside. It was a small house, built for one. Like myself, she said she hardly spent any time there. I liked living alone too, or at least I used to. Now, I wasn’t sure. Even just one night without her in my bed felt different. Hence the talk I needed to have with her.
I sat down in the chair she pointed at. “Is there anything I can help you with?” I offered.
“No. Just be prepared to eat a lot,” she said, pulling a roast out of the oven. It had all the fixings around it, potatoes and carrots. I smiled when she placed it in the center of the table. “What do you think?”
“I think it feels like home,” I admitted, inhaling the wonderful aroma.
Meri's eyes gleamed. “Thank you. I looked up the recipe when I got back to my room last night. I have homemade biscuits coming out too.”
“You made this all for me?” I asked, stunned.
“Yes. I wanted you to know how much I appreciate everything you did for me,” she said, going back for the biscuits.
Appreciation wasn’t what I was looking for. But it was better than her hating my guts. When she sat down, I said, “You really shouldn’t have gone through so much trouble. You must have spent the entire morning cooking.”
“I found it therapeutic. Also cleaned my house, and did laundry,” she replied.
“That doesn’t sound like a fun way to enjoy your first day back home,” I said.
She shrugged. “There were a few times I was afraid that I would never see this place again. It might not be much, but it is mine. No one makes the rules here but me. I can come and go as I wish.”
“Sounds like you enjoy living alone,” I stated.
“It is better than living with someone you don’t get along with, don’t you think?”
“Yes. There is nothing worse than being with the wrong person. But have you ever thought about how it could be with the right one?”With me?
“Of course, I have. But sometimes things don’t end up the way we want them. Some things are not meant to be,” she responded. Sadness filled her beautiful brown eyes.
Reaching across the table, I touched her hand. “Don’t give up on what you want. Some things are worth fighting for.”
She looked down at my hand on hers, then pulled hers away. “Or sometimes they are exactly what they appear to be. Hopeless.”
“Is that what you think of us? Hopeless?” I asked.
Meri became uncomfortable and started to fidget in her seat. “I don’t think about us at all,” she said. I knew that was a lie.
“That’s unfortunate because I haven’t stopped thinking about us.”
She looked at me, eyes wide, then turned and avoided my gaze. “You should eat before it gets cold.”
“Even though your food smells amazing, I didn’t come here to eat. I came here to talk to you,” I said.
“Ryker, I...I think we have said enough.”
“No we haven’t. What we did was avoid talking, which is not the same. But Meri, I don’t want to leave without talking about us.”
“I already told you, there is no us.”
“Hmm. I don’t recall that at all. What I remember was how damn good it is with you. And you can tell me that you don’t feel it, but I won’t believe you,” I said.
“What you believe doesn’t matter to me,” she said.
“Why are you pushing me away?” I asked.
