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But holding my best friend in my arms, I came to a decision. As much as I loved HIl, I couldn’t ignore how I felt about Remy. I had to at least find out how Remy felt about me.
If he wasn’t into guys, then fine. I would accept it and move on. But if there was a chance he felt the same, I had to take it.
A few months ago Hil took a risk by disappearing on everyone who loved him. That risk led to him finding the guy he’ll spend the rest of his life with. If Remy was that for me, I had to know. And I was going to find it out after the funeral.
Chapter 4
Remy
Glancing around the tastefully decorated conference room of the building I grew up in, I took in the soft lighting and elegant flower arrangements adorning the tables. The mood was heavy with a mix of grief and nostalgia, but it still felt like the celebration of life that it was supposed to be.
Surveying the guests, I spotted my drugged yet surprisingly sociable mother. She had been handling this better than expected. The miracles of modern pharmaceuticals, am I right?
Past her was my brother, Hil, and his boyfriend, Cali. Seeing Cali always brought a smile to my face. The hulking, college football player who had the balls to openly date a guy, was amazingly easy to fluster. That made teasing him so fun.
‘Let’s see, what was I going to call him today?’ I wondered, walking over to them. Hillbilly? No, I called him that the last time. Redneck? Overused. Tractor-chaser? Mudflap-magnet? Flannel-fucker?
Approaching my grieving brother, I clutched his shoulder and squeezed.
“You did a great job with the wake, Hil. You really did. Everyone’s impressed. Dad would have loved it.”
Before Hil could respond, I turned to Cali. “And in this situation, a great job means that he didn’t put a single picture of cousins kissing anywhere in the place. I know that’s weird for you.”
“Remy!” Hil protested.
“What?” I asked innocently. “I was ensuring that your Redneck Prince here could follow the conversation. I was being inclusive.”
Cali stuttered, wanting to respond but knowing he couldn’t out of respect for the occasion. The tortured look in his eyes brought me endless joy.
“Remy, that’s not funny,” Hil snapped.
I feigned being hurt. “Hil, you’re gonna yell at me today? Here? We’re at our father’s wake. Hil, I’m grieving,” I said hoping my smirk wasn’t lingering.
Hil, at a loss for words, quieted long enough for me to look over his shoulder. Behind him, standing by himself, was Dillon. He had been watching us. When our eyes met, I felt a vice around my heart.
As he lifted his glass to his lips, he looked away. But it was too late. I was hooked. And for the first time since we had met, I was free to get what I wanted, which was, more of him.
“Remy, all I’m saying is…”
“…that you have no empathy for my grief. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, but could we pick this up a little later? I have heartbroken guests I need to attend to,” I told my little brother, feeling rejuvenated.
Crossing the room to the man I had wanted for so long, I realized that this was it. I was going to tell him how I felt. I knew I should have been nervous, but I wasn’t. The life I had dreamed of and had planned for for years was within my sights. I couldn’t wait for it to begin.
Approaching Dillon, I couldn’t help but smile.
“Thank you for being here,” I said genuinely.
“Of course,” Dillon replied, his brown eyes soft and sincere. “If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know.”
My mind teetered on the edge of inappropriate thoughts, but I reined myself in. “Actually, there’s something I need to discuss with you.”
Dillon looked amused. “That’s funny because there’s something I need to discuss with you. But you should go first.”
“Really?” I asked surprised. “In that case, please take the floor,” I insisted politely.
“No, go first. Mine can wait.”
“No, no. I think you should go first,” I said showing him the type of boyfriend I would be to him.
