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My shoulders fall, and I look down at my hands. “I’m not looking for love,” I say softly. I understand that love doesn’t exist in our world. It’s sex, money, and power. Love is unheard of. Your own parents don’t love you; you’re made for a purpose not any other reason.
“Everyone deserves to be loved. I’m just sorry you’ll never experience it.”
I look up at her and see unshed tears in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers once again, and I have a feeling she’s talking about something else now.
I swallow, all of a sudden uncomfortable. We don’t have heart-to-hearts. She yells, and I say stupid shit to get slapped. That’s how it’s always been. “For what?” I can’t help but ask.
“For having you.”
My stomach sinks, and my throat closes up, making it hard to breathe. She just spoke the words I’ve always known, but she never dared to speak. If I were a boy, it’d be different. I’d be celebrated for getting a pussy to fuck soon.
“If you ever get the chance, Ashtyn, you run. Run like hell and don’t ever look back. Do you understand me?”
I don’t know where she expects me to go, but the fear in her eyes has me nodding. “Ye-ah.”
“I mean it. You will never be enough for a Lord.” Sitting back in her seat, she mumbles, “No woman ever is…and you’re nothing special.”
SEVEN
SAINT
Isit on my bed at the house of Lords, watching her on my phone. I have cameras in her room at her parents’ house and her place. They’ve been there for over a year now. I was up all night last night with the Lords and finally dropped her car off at seven this morning. I wanted to go inside and see her so badly but made myself leave.
I forced myself to go home and get a few hours of sleep. When I woke up, I couldn’t help it. I pulled up the footage of her in her room and watched her wake up this morning.
She left an hour ago to go to her mother’s therapy session that I know she makes her attend. But on my cell, she’s lying on her bed watching porn on her phone. I can hear the woman moaning and gagging as she gets fucked by what sounds like several men.
Ashtyn rocks back and forth on top of her duvet. Her teeth sink into her bottom lip, and her left hand massages her breast. She’s so fucking needy it’s adorable.
I imagine my sweetheart on her hands and knees crawling across the floor to me with tears in her eyes begging me to fuck her. To let her come.
“Saint,” she moans my name, and I groan.
Fuck, I’ve never heard anything so desperate, and I’ve watched grown men beg for their lives. Nothing can top her.
I push my sweatpants down and grab my hard cock in my hand. I imagine her on her stomach lying between my open legs with her lips wrapped around my cock. Pretty blue eyes full of tears looking up at me as she gags. Drool running from her perfect lips as tears fall down her cheeks. It’s a sight to see, and I can’t wait to record her on my phone so I can show her how pretty she looks being my dirty whore.
Her head falls back, and she pinches her nipple, pulling on it slightly, making herself gasp. But she doesn’t let go. Instead, she pulls harder, her teeth sinking into her lip to stifle a cry.
She likes pain.I’ve watched her push herself over and over the last year on the hidden cameras I have in her room.
Reaching over, she grabs the vibrator that lies next to her, and her room fills with the buzzing sound. She spreads her legs wide and places it on her pussy over her nude color underwear. She’s never naked when she gets herself off. I think the thought of touching herself makes her nervous. Too afraid she’ll go too far and end up fingering herself.
“Oh…God…” she moans, her hips bucking as she sinks further into her mattress.
I’ll be the one she fucks soon, and she’ll understand that God won’t be able to help her.
Her phone falls from her hand, and she lets it lie next to her as she rides the vibrator. Her voice rises, and she slaps her free hand over her face. My hand tightens on my hard cock when she pinches her nose, restricting her air.
“Oh sweetheart,” I whisper, loving that she’s showing me what she likes. She’s not afraid to experiment. She has no clue just how good it can be.
I’m not a virgin. I fucked in high school. The thought of having to go three years without sex during college was a challenge that I was more than ready to accept. But the moment I realized that the one I desired wanted me back was when I almost said fuck the Lords. But the thought of anyone else having her won over.
If I fucked her, I’d be kicked out, and she would be a used-up whore since she has to be a virgin for her Lord. I refused to take that chance. If anyone else fucks her other than me, it’ll be because I’ll allow them to.
I watch her hips buck, and she shakes her head while still holding her hand over her face and pinching her nose. She stiffens, and her neck arches as she comes in her underwear.
