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Once I lay her down, Haidyn spreads her legs wide to each side and buckles her ankles into the built-in medical restraints. The stretcher has a total of ten restraints. Her ankles, knees, and upper thighs, along with her chest and neck. She doesn’t need the wrist option since she’s in the straitjacket.
I do one across her chest and then one that wraps around her neck.
“Sa-int?” She coughs, body jerking.
I lean over, cupping her tear-streaked face and meet her heavy stare. “I love you, Ashtyn.” It’s the first time I’ve ever said those words out loud, to anyone. But I’ve felt it for years.
She arches her back the best the restraints allow and begs. “Please…”
“Remember that, sweetheart. I love you so much that I have to hurt you.”
She shakes her head, tears filling her pretty blue eyes. She’s starting to come back around, and my chest tightens. She’ll survive. But I can’t promise my love won’t be what kills us both. The Lords have taught me to fight until death to get what I want. I’ll do the same for her.
“Let... me go.” Her voice is rough from Haidyn choking her out. So she coughs trying to clear it. “Please…Saint. I just want to go home.”
My stomach knots at her words. This is her home now. There is nowhere else for her to go.
“Just let me go.” The stretcher shakes as she fights harder.
“Don’t hurt yourself.”
“Let me go.” She arches her neck, screaming before she breaks into a sob.
Haidyn taps my shoulder, and I look over at him to see he’s holding out the last piece of her outfit.
Taking it from him, I shove the large black rubber mouthguard into her mouth, making sure to position her lips around it. It’s to protect her teeth and tongue. It has a tube that sticks out the front so she can breathe through if need be.
“Help me out.” I bark at him as she goes feral. I’m afraid she’ll hurt herself. That’s for me to do.
He holds both sides of her face as I rip off the end of the duct tape that they obviously wanted me to use. He holds her head helping me as I wrap it around her head, covering everything from her chin to underneath her nose, making sure not to cover the hole in her mouth guard. Once done, I toss the tape to the side and go over to my nightstand and pull out what I need. Then I go back over to her, grip her taped cheeks, and bite the lid of the Sharpie and write on the tape.
They want me to make her mine? Then I’ll do just that.
I grab the blanket and toss it over the lower part of her body, so no one sees her as we push out of her room.
TWENTY-FOUR
ASHTYN
One, two, three, four… I count the buzzing fluorescent lights that pass by as I stare up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the burning of my skin. I have no control over any part of my body. I’m strapped down to a bed as Haidyn and Saint push me through Carnage.
My vision has finally returned, but they took away my voice with the gag. It’s bulky and rubber, filling my mouth. My teeth dig into it as saliva runs down the back of my throat and every now and then, I gag on it. They ignore me. The tape that he wrapped around my cheeks is pinching my skin.
I love you, sweetheart.
His words keep echoing in my head like a song on repeat. It’s what every girl wants to hear, right? I’ve heard others at Barrington say love is hard. I never believed them. Loving Saint has been the easiest thing in my life.
Until now. Why does it have to be so painful? Why do I have to be so stupid?
It’s a game of lose-lose. I mean love is like anything else—temporary. People fall in and out of love just as easily as people pass away. You just wake up one day and no longer feel anything for them. I’ve seen it. Not in my world, but the one that doesn’t know we exist.
They bring me to a stop, and I hear the metal squeak of a heavy door. I can’t breathe. My arms are secured tightly to my chest. My legs are also strapped down and I try to yank them free, but there’s no use. The leather straps I’m buckled in just rub against my skin, and I feel like I’m covered in razors. It burns so bad. But why am I so wet?
My pussy clenches, and I cry into the gag, hating how fucking wet I am right now.
Saint looks down at me, and his eyes soften. I close mine as a sob wracks my body. This isn’t about pleasure. He’s going to hurt me. But he knows I like pain and get off on it.
Is that his plan? Humiliate me? Have me beg him to fuck me? I’m naked and my nipples are hard rubbing against the itchy inside of the straitjacket. My arms are crossed right underneath my breasts and my body gently rocks back and forth with the movement of the bed they’ve got me tied to.
