Page 37 of She Was Mine First

I could see it in his eyes, he knew I was right. We didn’t stop to think about the consequences of entering a sexual friendship. I don’t think we thought about anything other than screwing each other’s brains out.

Except this was Ethan Carter.

He wasn’t just a random boy.

A random fuck.

This was my best friend.

Hewas my best friend.

I yanked my hair back, wanting to rip it out of my head. “Ugh! Fuck!”

He reached for me in an understanding gesture of what I was saying. “Livvy.”

I stepped back. “Please don’t touch me right now. All I keep thinking is that I’m eighteen years old and I’m still a kid. How on earth can I take care of one if I’m still one myself? We both are.”

“Exactly, you’re not alone in this. I know it may feel like that right now, but if you are pregnant, we’ll figure it out together. I’m not going anywhere. We need to take a test.”

“But what if I am?”

“But what if you aren’t?”

“But what if I am?” I insisted. “I’m never late. Ever.” My head felt like it was going to explode. “Everything is happening so fast, Ethan. We aren’t together. I’m not your girlfriend, and you’re not my boyfriend. We’re not in a relationship, and now we may have messed up both our lives.”

“You’re just scared, Livvy, and you’re freaking out.”

“How are you not? This would mess up your entire future.”

“I’d make it work.”

“Let me remind you, you’re on a full-ride scholarship, Ethan. If you don’t keep your GPA up, then guess what? You lose it. You don’t have time for a baby, let alone a job to—”

“Why don’t you let me worry about that, alright?”

“I can’t believe you.”

He shrugged. “A baby’s always a blessing. Regardless of how much of an inconvenience it could be.”

“Great, so I guess that makes me the selfish bitch because I’m thinking about our futures.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth.”

I sighed deeply, trying to gather my emotions for a second. “I’m sorry I can’t see past how much this would mess up our futures.”

I stepped toward her, and to my surprise, she didn’t back away from me this time. Since she didn’t, I reached over and caressed her cheek with the back of my fingers.

“The only thing we can do right now is take a test and go from there, but if you are, that’s my baby too, and don’t you ever fucking forget that. We’re in this together. Do you understand me?”

I nodded, throwing my arms around his neck, and he instantly hugged me back.

“No matter what, I love you, Livvy,” he murmured in my ear. “And don’t you ever fucking forget that either.”

I wouldn’t.

I couldn’t.

Meaning it from the bottom of my heart, I expressed, “I love you too.”

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