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The slight tremble in her voice is the only indication that I’m getting to her.
“Because I’m done with you." I say with a shrug.
Clean. Simple. Break.
That’s what we need.
So why do I have an ache on the left side of my chest as I deliver each blow.
I take a swig from the bottle of scotch in my hand and close my eyes so I don’t have to see her walk away.
But when I open them again, she’s still here. Why is she still here?
My words should have driven her away already.
“Why are you still here?”
“I’m trying to work out if you’re drunk or just an asshole.”
I laugh darkly. The sound is ugly.
“Both.” I say with a coldness, detaching myself from the situation. “You were just like every other girl. Good to keep for a few days then on to the next. I will say you were a better fuck than most.”
She tries to hide it but those words strike a blow.
She takes a step back, her gaze sliding to look first at Phoenix then at Rhys. They’re standing rigidly on either side of me. I can sense their displeasure. They like Bellamy, they think she’s good for me. They probably hate the way I’m talking to her but they’ll always have my back.
She walks away.
Her steps are measured and I know she’s trying to keep her steps measured, to not run away as she loses her composure.
I know I’ve hurt her.
I watch her walk into the back of the house. The silence stretches before Rhys breaks it.
“You’re a fucking arsehole.” He says, shaking his head. “I know you’re grieving and it’s raw and you don’t know how to process it just yet, but this isn’t it.” He walks away, his hands jammed into his pockets.
“Yeah, leave. See if I care.”
“I’m not leaving, Rogue. You twat.” He says, disappointment clear in his tone. “I’m going after Bellamy so I can try to fix the mess you just created. Because I promise you, you’ll regret this tomorrow when you’re not so completely pissed and angry. I guarantee it, even if you won’t admit it to yourself."
He storms off without another word.
“Anything else to add?” I toss in Phoenix’s direction.
He shakes his head. “That about covers it.”
He heads after him then pauses and turns towards me. “I know you’re hurting, you have every right to be. But taking a verbal flamethrower to the only girl you’ve ever cared about is not the way to handle that.”
That’s what I do. I want to yell it at him.I push people away. Better to hurt than be hurt.
Angry energy jolts through my body like a stroke of deadly lightning. I’m up on my feet pacing angrily beneath an old oak tree. I can’t control it.
She fucking matters. What am I doing? No, there was always an expiration date on us anyway. Why not do it now? I’m not sure I’m done quite yet.
I roar in frustration, wishing I could rip the conflicting thoughts out of my brain. What do I want?
The need for violence.
