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Nera speaks first. “Let’s go to the gym. I have a spare outfit in my bag that you can wear.”
“Thanks. I’m more upset that dickhead ruined my lunch.”
“I have to say, you two have balls of steel.” Six adds, throwing a thumb in my and Thayer’s direction. “I don’t think anyone’s ever talked back to Rogue like you just did, Bellamy. I’m not going to lie, I got a little turned on.”
I laugh. “I’m sure that’s not true.”
“I promise you it is.” She replies, nodding her head vigorously. “I mean, even I don’t usually engage when Phoenix messes with me. I just sit there and take it. It’s the path of least resistance.”
“She’s not usually like that.” Thayer says, looking at me solemnly. “He brings out a different side to her.”
“Hedoesn’t. But if he wants a feud, I’ll give him one, yeah.” I say.
“What kind of different side?” Nera asks her.
“Come on, B. You’ve got to admit that ballsy display back there isn’t how you’d typically have handled that situation. You’re more the diplomatic, 'let’s talk it out and make nice’, not the ‘show me yours and I’ll show you mine'. mutually assured destruction type of conflict resolver.”
“So, what? I shouldn’t engage him?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. In fact, who cares about him? I’m focused on the fact that, for the first time in a while, your fire is back. Your anxiety doesn’t seem to be hovering over you like a dark cloud.”
It takes her bringing up my struggles with anxiety to remember I’ve had issues with panic attacks. It’s like coming back into my body suddenly, jarringly.
My brow furrows as I think about my interactions with Rogue. They’ve been heated, angry, hinging on the edge of violence. My heart has pumped at new speeds and I’ve felt every negative emotion known to man, but never the kind of paralyzing anxiety I’ve felt in the past during other arguments.
Thayer is right. I’m usually very conflict averse, someone who would rather discuss things rationally than ever get physical. So the fact that in a few days he’s driven me to the point of getting in his face is insane. It’s a testament to the depth of raw piqued emotion he pulls out of me.
She keeps talking as we walk into the locker room. “I’m split between wanting to punch him in the face for bullying and scaring you, and telling him to keep going because you going toe to toe with him is the most alive I’ve seen you in a year.”
“Alright, I see your point.” I say, concedingly. “Apparently all it takes to cure my anxiety is a feud with a European man.”
“A hot European man, and don’t forget the line between love and hate isveryfine.”
“You can’t seriously think I like anything about that psychopath?” I ask incredulously as I change into Nera’s spare leggings andHarry Pottersweater.
Nera jumps in. “Maybe not ‘like’, but you guys definitely have some weird chemistry going. You were pretty locked in on each other during that whole exchange. It didn’t look like you were aware any of us were there.”
“Listen, he can have anyone he wants, whenever he wants at RCA. And probably in most of Switzerland, actually. Every girl here - present company excluded of course” Six says, pointing at Nera and herself. “- would kill for a chance with him. He sleeps around and never more than a couple times with the same girl. He’s a total manwhore but it’s completely transactional and emotionless for him. I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he just looked at you. ” Six adds.
I think back to the possessive hand wrapped around me and the clear message of ownership that hold was meant to convey. Message received.
“He does not look at me in any way.” I reply, rolling my eyes.
“He does.”
Nera nods. “There’s definitely a look.”
“Now, that look is hard to interpret. It’s like he wants to eat you for lunch. At this stage, I can’t confirm if he wants to kill you or fuck you into next week, but I’m strongly leaning towards the second.” Thayer finishes.
“It’s absolutely hate.” My cheeks flame, and I want to deflect. “What about you? Don’t think any of us missed your weird mating dance repartee with Rhys.”
She walks through the open locker room door I’m holding, turning back to flick me a quick glare. “That’s nothing. He’s just playing games.” She says as she walks into a brick wall.
Or Rhys’ hard chest.
His hands come out to grab either of her arms, his smooth English voice washing over us as he speaks with a smile on his lips. “Hello, love."
She pushes against his chest, walking herself backwards out of his hold.
