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“Bothered are you?” I say, coughing and still laughing. This is an even better reaction than I was hoping.
“I don’t know why you’re smiling,” He says, his smile cruel and downright terrifying. “Did you forget Thayer’s in that club as well? Probably also dressed in a slutty little outfit on the dance floor being dry humped to Drake as we speak.”
It’s his turn to laugh when the smile wipes off my face. And I understand why he threw me up against the wall because I want to murder him for laughing.
I was already planning on going with him to Baroque but now it feels like I can’t waste another second before getting there.
I hook him around the ankle with my foot and yank, tripping him to the floor.
“Take your own fucking car.” I spit at him, as he looks up at me from his back.
???
16
Thayer
I down my glass of water and slam another shot before turning back towards the dancefloor where Bellamy’s still dancing.
The adrenaline from dancing coupled with the alcohol in my veins loosen me up and have me feeling so good as hell to quote Lizzo.
Baroque plays all the best club hits and we’ve been dancing for a while, together and apart, our minds and bodies completely given over to dancing.
But I need a moment to clear my head.
Because no matter how loud the music is and no matter how hard I try to think of something else, my thoughts keep going back to what Rhys told me.
How cliché of a man like him not to believe in love.
Or, sorry, believe in it but notwantto be in love. Ever.
Not that it matters to me either way. I just think it’s a completely unrealistic approach to life and if that’s truly how he felt then he shouldn’t have pursued me so blindly.
No.
It’s not about me. It hasnothingto do with me.
And yet.
I want to scream in frustration. My head’s fucked and it’s all his fault. Why does it feel like he personally hurt me when I already have someone I love?
I’m not getting anywhere, the mess in my head getting more complicated the more I think about it.
The alcohol isn’t helping either.
It should be simple – it doesn’t have anything to do with me.
Instead, I’m finding out that maybe as much as I’ve been pretending otherwise, as much as I’ve been trying to hide behind those defenses,maybe… I do feel something for him.
Did feel something for him.
And hearing that that ‘something’ could never be anything more bruised that part of me.
I wish it’d killed it entirely. I wish hearing he would never have feelings for me put my own out like pouring the entire Niagara Falls on a campfire, but it didn’t.
The campfire is smaller. It’s deeper into the forest and harder to find.
