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“You haven’t let me touch you since I got here and we’ve barely talked over the past couple of months. Doesn’t take a genius.”
I look out at the beautiful trees, the open grass, the pond in the distance, the students milling about campus, enjoying their weekend and the gorgeous fall day, and I relish in the feeling of how happy I am here.
I didn’t know that I’d be putting the final nail in the coffin of my relationship when I came to Switzerland, and now that the moment is upon me, that I see my relationship in the context of my new life, I don’t regret the decisions I’ve made that have brought us here.
“I’m sorry.” I tell him, truthfully. “I feel like we’ve been over for a long time and that we’ve been holding on to something that’s in the past. It took you coming here for me to realize that, I really didn’t mean to stretch this out further.”
“Is it because of what I did?” He asks, not looking at me. His shoulders are tense and his tone is biting.
“No. Well, not really.” I say, “I think I was already falling out of love with you before that. It was likely the same for you since you could cheat on me.”
He stays quiet so I continue. “I moved to another continent and I haven’t missed you as much as I think I should have if you really were the love of my life. Can you honestly say you’ve missed me?”
“No.” He answers, his tone downright rude now. This is a new side to him. He’s always been a little thoughtless, a bit careless maybe, but never mean. “I was coming here to tell you I fucked someone else, anyway.” He hisses, his voice venomous as he watches me to see how the blow lands.
I inhale sharply as I wait for the inevitable pain, but… nothing.
I feel nothing.
Not rage, despair, or heartbreak, just a deep sense that I made the right decision. Selfishly, I can’t help but compare myself to Bellamy.
She’s a complete wreck because of what Rogue did and I just want to put as much distance between me and Carter as possible.
If anything, I feel anger and frustration that I dragged this out for so long. That I agonized over the decision and the guilt of my feelings for Rhys when all along he was fucking someone else.
I regret crossing that line with Rhys yesterday, not that the moment itself happened, but that I let it happen before I spoke to Carter.
At this moment, I feel absolved of all that guilt.
If he wants this to end bitterly, with jabs and blows thrown at one another with the intent to wound, I simply won’t entertain him.
“Well, then I think we’ve said all we have to say to each other.” I say, standing up and dusting my backside.
I have zero interest in who he slept with or any of the sordid details.
I’d wanted this to be an amicable breakup, but his actions make that impossible. The faster he gets away from me, the better.
He grabs my forearm and keeps me in place.
“Is there someone else?”
I yank my arm out of his hold, rubbing my wrist as I flash him a glare. “You don’t get to ask me that.”
“It’s Rhys, isn’t it?”
My heart skips a beat at the mention of his name, my body always attuned to anything to do with him.
“What? No. Why would you think that?”
He stands and walks up to me. “Because you barely batted an eye when I just told you I fucked someone else.”
“I’m sorry my reaction to your betrayal isn’t dramatic enough for you. Do you want me to break down in tears and beg? Is that it?” I counter mockingly, irate now.
His narcissism now that I see it is downright frightening. I don’t recognize the man I used to have feelings for.
“I want you to care.”
“Well I don’t. In fact I think you should date her, whoever she is. Best wishes to you both.”
