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“It’s okay. She’s getting clingy and talked about marriage.” He scrunches his face.
“She brought up theMword?” I gasp, faking horror. “How ridiculous of her. She should know better. You don’t commit.”
“Yep, I’m too young for that,” he says ignoring my sarcastic tone.
“You’re thirty-three,” I remind him.
“As I said, too young,” he repeats, nodding a couple of times.
Damian fake shivers and gives me a look that says,he’s right.I’m thirty-five and still not ready for commitment.
What’s in the water of Kentbury? Most men—including my brothers—can’t say the word commitment without breaking out in hives.
“We will never agree on this subject.” I sigh. “I’m staring at the calendar while I hear my biological clock ticking and you two swear you’re not ‘ready’ for a commitment.”
“What biological clock?” Damian frowns.
“The one that says I won’t be able to have children when I hit a certain age,” I respond.
Which, I’m not even sure when that is. The other day, I was reading an article about a fifty-year-old woman who gave birth—to twins. But what if, even at fifty, I can’t find a guy to start a family with?
“Talk to Landon,” Bishop insists, and we’re back to the conversation I’m trying to avoid.
“And then what, make things awkward between us?” I ask with an annoyed voice. “I know he doesn’t reciprocate my feelings.”
How do I know that? I’ve been irrevocably in love with Landon Miller since I was fourteen.
“Maybe I should just go to a sperm bank and get inseminated,” I mumble.
“Why would you do that?” Damian says. “You can’t have a kid on your own.”
“Because I want to have a family,” I refute.
I can’t even argue the point. It’d be stupid to tell him that Cassie’s already eight and I miss having a baby around. I want a family with three or four children. I want a toddler I can chase around the house. I miss building snowmen the size of Cassie during winter. I want to have lots of stockings on the chimney and a special tree where I hang my kids’ homemade ornaments.
Is it so bad to wish for what I can’t have? Cassie used to love spending time with me. Now, she’s searching for the next big adventure. The worst part is that Cassie’s not even mine.
“What happened to the job offer?” Damian fires the question with a rough tone. He’s in big brother mode and I hate they’re focusing on me.
“It’s just an interview. You need me here.”
“We can hire someone to take care of the weddings and the B&B,” Damian suggests.
I should remind him that we have a capable event planner. I choose not to.
“I’ll find a manager for the gift shop,” Bishop offers.
“I’ve never felt so… so… replaceable,” I say.
The frustration and anger are gripping my throat. My stomach hardens, and I just want to go back to my house and hide under the bed.
“In less than five minutes you just told me one, that I’m expendable.” I show him my index finger and begin to count. “Two, that no one could be in love with me, and three that I’m unfit to become a mother.”
“Fuck, Lee, that’s not what we meant,” Damian growls.
“So would you like to clarify?”
“We’re just saying that you seem restless. You deserve more than this town can offer. We’re not a fancy hotel in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the world. Landon Miller doesn’t deserve you. He’s already settled down with his kid. If you want to have a kid, you’d be a great mom. Look at Cassie. You’ve done an amazing job with her, but she’s not yours. You deserve better.
