Page 149 of Born to Sin

“It’s like a whole new world,” she said.

“Maybe. And one we can leave there, if you’d rather.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she said. “I might want to try it sometime. Of course, I’m currently taking opioids, so don’t hold me to it.”

“I’ll never hold you to it. That’s also the idea.”

“This all sounds very liberating,” she said. “Frankly. How do you know what to buy?”

“You shop,” he said. “And read reviews, like you do for anything. Online, no worries. Nobody’s going to see the judge in the sex shop. Or her partner. I reckon I was right about one thing, though.”

“What’s that?”

He smiled. “That you were born to sin.”

“Ha,” she said. “If you knew that, you’re the only one.”

He was at the edge of town now, taking the turn and following the road to her parents’ place. It had snowed again while they’d been gone, and the berms were piled high on either side of the road. The air was frosty and dry, and a few tiny flakes were falling, looking like drifting stars in the headlights. It would be a white Christmas. Their first.

Another turn, and he was in the driveway, pulling up to the house. The front door opened before the ute came to a stop, and there was Quinn’s mum, still pulling on her coat, with Cash behind her. Quinn said, “Wait.”

“What?” he said.

“Before they get here,” she said, “I need to tell you. That I love you. Thank you for rescuing me. Thank you for being able to love me, even after everything that’s happened to you. You are a strong man. And I know it’s probably wrong to say to you right now, but … Merry Christmas.”

57

TELLING THE TRUTH

Christmas stockings were a bit delayed. That was because Quinn couldn’t wake up.

She tried. She surfaced at the sound of Beckett moving around the bedroom, the sight of him fastening his watch onto his arm, taking his wallet off the dresser and slipping it into his back pocket—why was that so sexy?—and again at the sound of an excited little voice in the hallway, a bark or two, and Janey’s voice shushing them with, “She’ssleeping.”After that, she … well, fell asleep again.

When she finally managed to stagger out of bed and into her bathrobe, the bedroom—still the same after all these years, because she’d never been all that girly and hadn’t had to change out the Barbie wallpaper or take down the canopy—was still dim. That was because it was snowing outside. Big, puffy flakes like a fairy tale, drifting down onto the two feet already on the ground. She could smell wood smoke, and she knew there’d be coffee out there. Also cocoa made on the stovetop and the rich yeasted coffee cake, its dough cut and twisted into the shape of a wreath, extravagant with almond filling, studded with red and green candied cherries, and striped with white icing, because Bam would have made it with the kids yesterday when Quinn couldn’t. Of that, she was sure.

It was the coffee that got her out there, honestly, because she felt like she’d been stuffed into a sack and beaten with hammers. She swallowed another pain pill with the help of the full glass of water Beckett had left by the bed, then drank the rest of it and headed out the door. She’d stop by the bathroom first. Maybe some makeup would … Well, probably not. Maybe big sunglasses. And a turtleneck. Bam would have a turtleneck and sunglasses.

A gasp. A sob. Oh. Troy. And Bacon, running forward, barking with his tail whipping, asking for a pet that her ribs weren’t excited about giving him.

Janey behind Troy, her eyes wide. “Oh,” she said. “Oh. I didn’t—”

“I’m OK.” It came out as a little bit of a croak. She cleared her throat and tried again. “I’m OK. Honestly.”

“But you don’t look likeyou,”Troy said. “You look really hurt.”

“Because sheisreally hurt,” Janey said sharply. “Dad said not tosay.”

Troy was crying now, and running at her. She gathered him in, gasped at the impact on her stomach, and said, “Hey. Hey, I’m all right. I missed you, too. Did you guys already have Christmas without me?”

“No.” Janey’s chin was trembling. “We waited for you. We wanted to—”

“Hey,” Quinn said. “Do you think you can you come here and give me a hug? I’m so glad to see you guys.”

Janey hesitated, but only for a second. Then she came forward and put her arms around Quinn. So tentatively, it was like a butterfly landing. Quinn said, “That feels so much better. That feels like Christmas.”

“We were scared,” Janey said, her voice muffled. “When Bam said you were so hurt.”

“Now, come on,” Quinn said. “You can’t tell me that Bam didn’t say that I was going to be fine, and that it looks worse than it is.”

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