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Her face closed down. Only word for it. She said, “Sure,” yanked on her door, and was clearly about to jump in and depart with her usual technique of “screaming for the exits.” He said, “Wait.”
Her hand was still on the door handle, but she hesitated, at least. “What?”
He ran a hand through his hair and tried to think. “Come back to the apartment and talk about it. I need to take Alexis home first, but you could meet me at my place.” He wasn’t going todoit. It was mad. But he couldn’t let her think … whatever it was she was thinking now.
Crikey, the woman was difficult. Exactly because shewasn’tdifficult. Women were meant to have games. Where were her games?
She said, “Fine,” but it sounded stiff, and when he pulled up with the kids and she climbed out of her ute, she looked that way, too.
“Why are you here?” Janey asked her.
“Too rude,” Beckett said.
“I need to talk to your dad,” Quinn said.
“I told you,” Janey said. “He loved my mum. She said he’d love her forever, and it’s not even close to forever. Even if he has sex with you, he’s not going to fall in love with you.”
“Janey.”Beckett had probably barked it, because she jumped, but she wasn’t backing down. She was facing off to both him and Quinn, and glaring like she couldn’t decide which of them she hated more.
Brilliant. This was brilliant.
“I want her to come,” Troy said. “Can you read stories?” he asked Quinn. “Mums read stories the best. And if you sit by the bath while I have it, I can tell you more about Bacon.” Who’d begun with the barking frenzy long since, probably from the moment he’d heard the ute. Bacon, unfortunately, could hear a familiar car coming from streets away, and he didn’t believe in listening in silence. Probably just as well they had to move. The neighbors were no doubt planning an intervention.
Janey looked truly agitated now. It was too dark to see her face well, but Beckett could read the stiffness in her body with no trouble at all. So that wasbothQuinn and Janey looking stiff. “She’s not a mum!” she told Troy, over the sound of the incessant yapping. “She’s just a woman, and we don’t need her. We have Dad!”
Beckett would have said “Janey!” again, but it hadn’t worked too well last time, so he put the key in the lock and said, “Not acceptable, especially when Quinn’s been so kind about helping you with volleyball.”
“Because she wants to havesexwith you!” Janey said. “Don’t yousee?”
“I see that you’re being rude to our guest,” he said, holding onto his temper with a major effort. “Go take a shower and get into bed.”
“I still have homework,” she said.
“Take it into your room, then,” he said, “because that’s where you’re going. I’ll come talk to you, no worries.”And say what? Better start thinking about that. This is why living with Quinn would be a bad idea. This, and so many other reasons. It’s not about you, not anymore, and even if it were, why would you sign up for two months of sexual frustration?
Well, because you’ve dragged your kids halfway around the world, and you’ve got no place else to live. There’s that.
He wasn’t a man who got tired. He was a man who got it done. What was he meant to do about this?
After Abby had died, he’d walked through his days like he was dragging a weight behind him. He’d gone on working, because there was no choice. The job was still there to do, there was nobody but him to support his family, and he didn’t want to think anyway. So he’d dragged that weight, and he’d worked, and he’d tried to tell himself he was doing enough.
Most of the time now, he didn’t feel that weight as much, because like it or not, you adjusted. You might not be exactly happy, but you got through things. You went on. Now, though, he felt that weight pulling him down again.
Why had he made this move in the first place? What had possessed him, other than running away? From the memories. From guilt. From Abby’s parents, and from her sister, Samantha, all of whom thought he’d killed her. By neglect, by crushing her dreams, or worse.
He had no answers.
* * *
So this wasn’t exactly goingto plan.
Quinn said, “I’ll go. Clearly not as good an idea as I thought.” She wanted to add, “See you around,” but decided not to, because it sounded passive-aggressive. That was the one thing she’d never been accused of, and she wasn’t starting now.
Beckett said, “No. You won’t.” He had the door open. Janey had stalked inside, and Troy was cuddling an ecstatic Bacon and not looking at either of them. Kids didn’t have to understand the meaning to sense the atmosphere.
She turned around. “Pardon?”
“Bugger,” he said. “I meant—”
