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“Sure,” Lula said.
“When?” I asked her.
“When I meet Prince Charming. Or when someone asks me, whichever is first.”
“Would you marry anyone who asks you?”
“I wouldn’t marry Simon Diggery. He smells like dirt and boa constrictor.”
“Fair enough.”
“Here’s your problem,” Lula said. “You got two men that’s at the top of the hot chart. They got everything any woman could hope for in spades. And they got their own agenda. Nothing wrong with that as long as your agenda matches up with their agenda. Problem is that their agenda don’t include getting married and you’re thinking maybe you want to reexamine the advantages of matrimony. Makes sense since you aren’t getting any younger.”
“I’m notthatold! And I’m not reexamining anything.”
“Just sayin’. Anyways there’s lots of men you could talk into marrying you if you just lower your standards. I’ve got my sights set on Julio right now, but I wouldn’t mind passing Scargucci or Grendel Doppelgänger over to you. Of course, you don’t want to be thinking about Scargucci for too long. He might be doing time soon.”
I glanced at my watch. Was it too early for wine? Maybe a couple shots of tequila?
Connie was on the phone talking to the glass-replacement guy. “Accidental gun discharge,” she said to him.
I grabbed my messenger bag and stood. “I need to check on my apartment,” I said.
I got into the Rangeman SUV and drove to my apartment. There were restoration vans from several companies in my parking lot. I was the only one with significant fire damage but there was water and smoke damage throughout the building.
Bob and I took the stairs to the second floor and walked past the giant fans in the hallway. My door was open, and several people were working inside. An eviction notice was tacked onto my door. No surprise there. I was a disaster. It was shocking that I hadn’t gotten kicked out sooner.
I asked one of the workmen when he thought I’d be able to move back in.
“Maybe tomorrow,” he said. “It won’t be perfect, but some of your rooms will be okay. It’s going to need paint and carpet or new flooring in the bedroom and living room. I guess that’s not your problem since you’ve been asked to leave.”
“My rent’s paid until the end of the month.”
“At least you don’t have a lot of furniture to move,” he said. “As far as I can see, the only thing that didn’t get burned up or water soaked is your dining room table and chairs.”
“Lucky me.”
“I can see you have a sense of humor. Maybe we can go out sometime. I’m free tonight.”
“Thanks,” I said, “but I’m already in two relationships. Maybe if you wanted to marry me.”
“Lady, you just got evicted because, from what I hear, youwere firebombed. I’ve tried bungee jumping and I parachuted out of a plane once. I’m not a wimp, but I’m not crazy enough to marry you. The best I could offer you is a one-night stand.”
“I appreciate your honesty,” I said. “I’ll keep you in mind if I ever need a one-night stand.”
“Just call the restoration company and ask for Smitty.”
I went to the cupboard in the kitchen. No tequila. I looked in the fridge. No wine. Bob and I went back to the Explorer.
“Morelli’s coming home tomorrow,” I said to Bob. “You’ll be able to go home, and it looks like I’ll be able to go home. We’re happy about that, right?”
Bob looked like he was moderately happy, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about anything. I drove to Rangeman and set my computer up on Ranger’s dining room table. I went online and ordered a couch and a table lamp from Fast Fred’s Furniture to Go. I was told it would be delivered between two o’clock and four o’clock tomorrow. I went to Amazon and bought a sleeping bag. One-day delivery.
Ella arrived at six o’clock and rolled a pretty glass-and-silver cart into Ranger’s dining area. She set the table for two and transferred the food and drinks from the cart to the table. She was on her way out when Ranger walked in. He was dressed in Rangeman fatigues, and he was armed.
“I’m tight on time,” Ranger said. “When I have this kind of schedule I usually just grab something from the café on the fifth floor, but I wanted to catch up with you. Tell me about your afternoon.”
“Connie was downtown bonding someone out, Lula and I were in the office, and Frankie Plover walked in. There was some yada yada yada, and he said he was going to kill us. He pulled a gun, Lula pulled a gun, and shots were fired. By some miracle, Lula tagged him in the arm, and he ran off. He got into his car and crashed it a couple blocks down Hamilton. He told the police he was the victim of road rage.”
