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“Drunk and disorderly, destruction of personal property, and attempted car theft,” Connie said. “He crashed the Wimmer funeral, and then he tried to escape in the hearse. It was only attempted car theft because he passed out behind the wheel before he got out of the cemetery. There was minimal damage to the hearse, but Simon ran over Henry Greetch and cracked his tombstone.”
Connie handed me the paperwork.
“Looks like he’s still at the same address,” I said.
“Does it say anything about Ethel?” Lula asked. “Not that I’m afraid of snakes or anything, but I’d take extra precautions if Ethel is in Simon’s broken-down trailer.”
“What precautions would you take?” Connie asked.
“I wouldn’t go in the trailer,” Lula said. “Although last time Ethel was up a tree and that wasn’t good either.”
I tucked the Diggery file into my messenger bag and stood. “Are you riding along?” I asked Lula.
“Absolutely,” she said. “Someone’s gotta protect Ranger’s car when you go into the trailer to root out Diggery.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It was a thirty-five-minute drive to the unimproved dirt road that led to Diggery’s trailer. The area was wooded and sparsely populated. There were a couple yurts, a hut patched together with sheets of corrugated metal, a couple bungalows that had seen better days. And Diggery at the end of the road.
“This is real country living on this road,” Lula said when we passed one of the yurts. “If I lived here, I’d have a chicken. I always wanted a chicken.”
“A little red hen?”
“Exactly. You gotta admire their work ethic. And I hear they make good pets.”
We reached the end of the road and Diggery’s trailer came into view. The area had been cleared of trees so that the trailer sat onan island of dirt. A rusted Ford F-150 pickup was parked close to the trailer.
“Looks like he’s home,” Lula said. “And he got a different trailer.”
The trailer wasn’t new, but it wasn’t a disaster either. I parked on the edge of the makeshift driveway and called Diggery.
“Yo,” he said.
“Hey, Simon,” I said. “It’s Stephanie Plum. You missed your court date. I’m in your driveway. I came to help you get rescheduled.”
“I know where you are,” he said. “I can see you. Go away.”
“Looks like you got a new trailer.”
“Yeah. So what?”
“It looks nice.”
“I came into some money.”
“Is Ethel in there with you?”
“Ethel died. She was old. I got Ethel Number Two now.”
“How big is Ethel Number Two?”
“Big enough to eat a cow. You’re disturbing my afternoon and you’re trespassing. You should leave before I have to shoot you.”
“You wouldn’t shoot me. We’re old friends.”
“We aren’t friends,” Diggery said. “We’re business associates.”
I got out of the car and waved at him. “I’m coming in,” I said.
