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The pulse in his neck throbs wildly, and I lean forward to run my tongue along it. He’s vibrating with restraint and need, and I smile to myself, loving the power I have over him—over all men.
It’s something I find highly addicting, in a world where I have little to no control. Few choices are mine, but the ones that are…I make them count.
Like this one.
“Please, Eve,” he chokes out. “Can I please see—” He pauses as I tug at his earlobe with my teeth. “Oh, my. Oh, Gosh.” I pull away as his eyes turn Heavenward, his throat bobbing as he swallows thickly.
I have to slow down or things will end far too soon for poor Kev.
His hand falls away from my breast to settle against his chest like he’s trying to calm his racing heartbeat. He stares up at me before he lowers his eyes to my dress again. I think he may not know where to look, or maybe he’s trying to confirm this is all really happening.
Not that much is happening. Not yet. That’s okay, though. I can be patient.
“You want to see my pussy, Kevin?” I ask soothingly. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he nods frantically. “Say it.” He shakes his head, not letting a sound or breath slip out.
I slide from his lap onto the blanket in front of him. Placing my feet on either side of his knees, I tug my dress slowly up my thighs. The alcohol coursing through my body gives me enough courage to actually do this. Doing it for a camera is one thing, but in person, it’s totally different.
Closing my eyes, I pretend I’m back in my room putting on a show for my fans. They love this. When I wear a chaste-looking dress and tease them like some sort of filthy, fallen angel.
The cool air hits my panties, and my head falls back. I let myself bask in this feeling of freedom. Of tiny rebellion.
Kevin’s hand lands on my shin, and I look back at him, finding his eyes glued between my thighs. He licks his lips as he awkwardly slips his legs out from under mine and shifts to his knees.
“Can I—” His hand slides higher up my thigh, and I let my legs open further. “I’ve heard men will use their tongue to pleasure a woman.” My eye twitches at his words. “I want to try that.”
I hesitate. Do I really want Kevin to be the first to go down on me? Kissing him, showing him my panties, is one thing. But this?
I take a deep breath, mentally warring with myself. We’ve already come this far, is letting him eat me out really that bad? If nothing else, a warm tongue might be all I need to get myself off with the help of my fingers.
“Okay,” I rasp, drawing the word out. He looks absolutely freaking giddy.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s controlling an enthusiastic hand clap/yippee combo, and it makes me dry up like the Sahara. Slowly, I reach down and tug my panties to the side, letting him get a good view of what’s probably his first-ever pussy.
He blinks a few times, readjusting his glasses as he leans forward to get a closer look. His jaw flexes before he flicks his eyes up at me.
“It’s so—” He leans back a bit, letting his hands flail as he searches for the words. “Well organized,” he says decisively.
“What?” I blurt. “Well organized?” Surely I heard him wrong. I let my panties snap back into place. That was too much—who says that? What does that even mean?
“No, wait,” he says, gripping both of my knees and forcing my legs to stay open. I feel like I’m getting a pap smear. “It’s just so…tidy. Everything's in its place.” He darts forward, pushing my panties to the side, and runs his fingers gently through me horizontally. “I can flip through your pages like a Bible,” he murmurs to himself, licking his lips.
“What the fuck, Kevin?”
His mouth opens and closes, his eyes wide as he tries to backtrack. I don’t know if I should be insulted or not. He keeps a firm grip on my knees, and I stop trying to close my legs.
“Don’t ever say that to a girl again,” I snap, and he nods like I’ve just given him the best advice he’s ever gotten, and he’s tucking it away into the back pocket of his fucking jorts.
“It’s just—it looks different than what I thought,” he continues. “It’s so smooth, and opens like a rose—is that why vaginas are called flowers?”
What am I doing?
Why am I doing this?
I don’t make bad decisions. I think things through before I do them. I’m not a spontaneous person, and I’m definitely not a girl who has random hookups with guys by the lake.
Even going through everything over the last four years, I’ve never stooped this low. I’ve never let anyone else touch me, except for—I push thoughts of him away.
I know it’s the combination of the holiday, the lake, and the alcohol making his ghost reappear in my thoughts tonight. I can't escape him, no matter how hard I try.
