AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Tommy McKinney,” I say. A brief pause, then he throws his head back and laughs. I can’t help the giggle that bubbles up my throat, my smile as genuine as it’s been in months. In years.
“Shit,” he laughs. “I forgot about that poor bastard.” He shakes his head, wiping at his eye. “You did him so dirty, Gold—” My breath hitches as he catches himself before the full word falls from his lips.
“Me?” My eyes widen. “He’s the one who made my first kiss terrible.”
“But memorable,” he counters. “No one has a good first kiss. It’s the second one that always makes up for it.” My face flushes as I dip my eyes.
“You did,” I agree. “Best second-first-kiss a girl could ask for.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” he mutters, but I just shake my head.
He doesn’t understand.
When Tommy pulled me under the bleachers when I was fourteen and shoved his tongue down my throat on a dare, all I could do was squeeze my eyes shut as I prayed for it to be over quickly. Then I came home and dove headfirst into the lake, wanting to wash the feeling of him off me. Moments later, Ro was there, swimming under the dock to find me.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, our voices echoing under the dock. “What the fuck happened?”
“Nothing,” I whimper, wiping the tears from my cheeks with the corner of my hand.
“It doesn’t look like nothing,” he counters, shooting me an irritated look. “It’s obviously something, or else you wouldn’t have jumped into the lake with your school clothes on.” I shrug as much as I can while trying to stay afloat.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I sigh. “It was just a bad day.”
“You don’t have bad days.” I stare at him, wanting to tell him I have so many bad days, that sometimes my bad days outweigh my good ones.
But I don’t.
I stay quiet. I keep the words in, because I’m supposed to be light. I’m not supposed to bring darkness into our lives. I’m supposed to be happy. Not sad. Not broken, even if I feel like that sometimes.
“Tell me what happened,” he demands, swimming closer. It’s just now I realize he’s actually in the water with me, and my legs momentarily stop kicking. I begin to sink, but then he’s there, grabbing my waist and pulling me closer, holding me above the water.
“Be careful, Goldie,” he chastises.
“I just—I didn’t mean to,” I breathe, my hands sliding onto his shoulders. It’s then that I notice he’s fully clothed and I realize he was so worried, he jumped in after me without stopping to get undressed.
His dark brows bunch together, his fingers gripping my waist tighter. “What happened?” he pushes, his voice a hushed whisper. I’m not kicking my feet anymore, not when he’s holding us up on his own, refusing to let me drown.
I almost don’t tell him, but more tears burn my eyes as I think about Tommy’s gross lips on mine, the way he’d held me too-tightly. Fear had coursed through me, not entirely because I was afraid of him and what he’d do, but because if we were caught, what would Mama say? She’d be so disappointed in me, but I know she wouldn’t listen if I told her it wasn’t my fault. That Tommy had just grabbed me, and kissed me, and wouldn’t let me go until I kissed him back.
A hot tear streaks down my cheek, and Roman’s hand leaves my waist long enough to brush it away. “Golden Girl,” he whispers, hauling me closer to him.
“Tommy—” I cut myself off with a deep breath. “Tommy McKinney kissed me today.” He pauses, his forehead scrunching up.
“He…he kissed you?” He repeats slowly. “And that’s why you’re upset?” I nod and inhale a shaky breath. “Was it not good?” I shake my head, words still lost to me.
Maybe one day I’ll explain it all to him, but right now, it’s impossible to say anything without feeling like a dam is about to break. His arm slides around my waist and he pulls me tighter to his body.
“Was it your first kiss?” he murmurs, and I nod again. His eyes drop to my lips, and suddenly, I don’t feel like crying anymore. Instead, my throat feels tight for an entirely different reason. My entire body feels tight. “You know,” he breathes, “your first kiss is supposed to suck. It’s the second one that makes up for it.”
“Really?” I whisper, and he bobs his head, his face inching closer to mine. My mouth opens before I can stop it. “Then I can’t wait for my second kiss.” His lips twitch up in a small smile.
“I can help with that,” he says, his hand sliding into my wet hair. “If you want.”
“How?” His face comes closer, until our breath dances between us.
“Just tell me yes or no,” he whispers. My eyes flutter shut as his mouth slides over my cheek. “Tell me yes, Goldie.”
“Yes.”
