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I sink onto a barstool one away from him, keeping enough distance between us not to spook him again. He glances at me from the corner of his eye. “Truth for a truth,” he says, and my brows lift.
“What’s that mean?”
“I’ll answer you, if you answer me.”
My stomach twists. There’s nothing about me he doesn’t already know, either because of Roman or Oli, or because we’ve known each other for years. He knows everything.
Except the camming.
And about Isaac.
I’m assuming he knows about Roman and me, but I can’t be sure Roman told anyone about that. It was only one night, and it apparently wasn’t as life changing for him as it was for me.
“Okay,” I breathe warily, eyeing him as he turns more toward me. He still won’t look at me longer than a few seconds, and I sigh. “You go first. What’s going on with you?”
His face reddens, and he rubs the back of his neck. “I’ll tell you, but there’s a caveat.”
“And that is?” I narrow my eyes.
“No follow-up questions. And I’m not going in depth.” My brows pinch together again, but I nod.
“Okay. Explain.”
He takes a deep breath, his hands balling into tight fists. His eyes are on the counter, still refusing to look at me. “I found your Favorite Fans page a while ago. I didn’t know it was you, not until Roman pointed it out—”
“What?” I cry, shooting off the barstool. “You—oh my God, I’m going to be sick. You found that? You saw everything?” I hold my fist in front of my mouth, and he points at me.
“Don’t you fucking puke, Evelyn,” he growls. “I already—oh God.” He gags violently, jumping from the stool. “Jesus Christ. Right when I got it out of my fucking brain—” He gags again, bracing his hands on the sink. “I’ve already done this once, I’m not doing it again.”
“You—” Other than feeling sick that he’s seen me like that, I feel naked. Vulnerable in a way I didn’t know I could feel. “You saw the videos? The photos?” He gags again, and the sound nearly has me puking alongside him. But I grip the counter so tight my fingers turn white.
“I’m not—I can’t think about it.”
“But you saw—”
“Eve,” he pleads, turning back toward me, his face pale. “I didn’t know it was you. If I did, I would’ve never subscribed.”
“You subscribed? I’m going to be sick. Oh, God. Oh, God.”
“I didn’t know it was you!” he cries, but I shake my head.
“And you—you—” I point at his crotch, and he covers it with both his hands.
“I’m not telling you that!” But I already know the answer. It’s obvious by his reaction. “I didn’t know it was you!” He keeps saying it like it makes a difference.
But he’s seen me naked. He’s seen me fuck myself, heard me say things. Oh my God.
Then his words sink in.
I didn’t know it was you until Roman pointed it out.
“Roman knew, too?” I whisper-choke.
Chase’s face falls.
He knew before he came to Divinity. He knew before that day in my bedroom. He knew the entire time.
“I showed him,” he admits, looking guilty.
