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I need him.
“Don’t leave,” I whisper, begging another man today for something out of my control. Except Roman isn’t his father and without pause, he nods.
“I won’t. I promise.” He swallows. “I’m never leaving you, Goldie.”
“Swear?”
He slides his hand away enough to wrap his pinky around mine. Lifting our hands, he lets me see the pinky promise as he presses a kiss to my hand.
“I pinky swear.”
My grip on Eve tightens as I shoulder my bedroom door open, letting it click shut quietly behind us. She doesn’t even stir in my arms, but I know she’s not asleep.
She’s just empty.
She hasn’t said a word since she silently walked out of that hospital room a half hour ago. She barely even looked at me. Her head was turned downward, her skin paler than it’d been before. The nurse shot me a sympathetic look, and I swallowed the chaotic swirl of emotions battering against my chest, and offered Eve my pinky.
This time, she didn’t take it.
This time, she didn’t even acknowledge my existence. She just walked past me, led the way to Chase’s car, and waited. At some point during the drive home, she shut down completely, and I had to carry her from the car. All she’s done is cry, the tears a never-ending stream down her cheeks.
I want to wipe them from her face, kiss them away, but I don’t. I can’t.
For a moment, just one split second when I’d picked her up, she flinched, and I’d half expected her to hit me.
To be honest, I’d prefer it if she had.
Anything is better than this.
My chest aches with a pain unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s worse than what I felt when my sick bastard of a father had me in that basement. Worse than any torture he forced me to live through. Worse than losing Eve and becoming homeless at eighteen.
It’s worse than all of that because, through it all, I knew she was okay. Through it all, I knew she was safe.
Now…
Now she’s not, and it’s all my fault.
I gently lay her down on the bed, careful not to jostle her, but she still releases a tiny whimper of pain and I find myself ready to burn the world down all over.
Gritting my teeth, I pull the blanket over her body. “Do you need anything, Goldie?” I murmur.
Eve’s wet eyes are open, but she doesn’t look at me and she doesn’t answer. Instead, she wordlessly rolls over, giving me her back, and sniffles.
I exhale slowly and bring my shaking hand up, brushing her hair behind her ear. She doesn’t flinch this time, and I consider it a win. I lean forward, instinctually wanting—no, needing—to kiss her sweet face, but I freeze before I can touch her.
She probably doesn’t want me to touch her.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
“‘I’ll be right back, baby,” I whisper, my voice cracking. I need a fucking minute to breathe. “I’m just going to get you some water.” The lie tastes like ash on my tongue. “I’ll be right outside the door if you need me.” She won’t. How could she? She hates me.
I stand, waiting for her to respond, but she doesn’t.
Can she even hear me?
