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"Gabe, I don't understand why you won't listen. I talked to her. She took me aside and had a real heart-to-heart with me. Her nana's been so wracked with guilt all these years that she didn't even tell her husband. It was all a big misunderstanding in a completely messed up situation. All her Nana wanted was some help from the sheriff for Dad, maybe even a little extra support for us. She didn't know we were going to be taken away from here. That was never her intention!" I exclaim in frustration.
"Then she shouldn't have stuck her nose where it wasn't welcome, should she?" He replies, opening the bedroom door with so much force I fall onto the ground.
"Why can't you see it? Our father was the problem, not her. DAD was the spineless asshole who always came home drunk! HE was the one who stole our childhood by forcing us to clean up his mess! We should have been young and carefree. HE is to blame for all of this!! NOT HER!" I shout louder as I feel my blood boiling.
"Yeah, but I protected us. I took care of us, Nate! I was the one who acted like a parent to you. I did a pretty good job raising you on my own!" Gabe yells at me before his temper gets the best of him and he punches the door.
"Look, I am sorry, Gabe. I know you have had it rough., I know you had to do a lot for me growing up, and for that, I will always be grateful. But it's time you stop holding on to all this anger and resentment and let yourself be happy," I reply more quietly.
"I don't even know what that's supposed to look like or where to start." Gabe admits quietly, sounding like he’s completely given up on himself and this whole conversation.
"Then let me help you, Gabriel," I beg, putting my hands on his shoulders and leading him into the kitchen, so I can wash his bloody hands under the faucet. He's letting drops of blood drip onto the carpet and does not even seem to notice.
Once the blood has finally stopped, we make our way back to the garden. We spend the rest of the night and well into the early hours of the morning either talking or arguing.
"I'm getting another beer," Gabe slurs, trying to stand.
"How about I make us some coffee?" I suggest.
"I'm getting a beer," he fumes. "It’s that, or I go and get the whiskey from my trunk."
"Fine, I'll get you one. I need to go for a piss anyway." I sigh, admitting defeat.
I know that I shouldn't be encouraging him. This will be his sixth or seventh beer tonight. But it's better than letting him have hard booze, or risk him trying to drive away.
As the beers flow, his guard seems to come down and his mouth appears unable to hold back.
"Here you go," I say as I go to sit down, but am hit by a strong smell of weed.
"What the fuck, Gabe? I thought you had stopped. You promised me you didn't do drugs anymore!"
"I don't do the hard stuff anymore. This is just a little weed to take the edge off," he slurs again. "You have no idea what it's like up here," he says, tapping his temple with his finger.
"It's hell. You don't know what it was like growing up. Dealing with Dad, protecting you. You at least had me growing up, but who did I have? No one, that's who!"
"You had me. You still have me."
"Not for much longer, not now that you have Bella. You're gonna run away with her again, just like you did when we were kids, and leave me alone again."
His words shock me. I'd never even thought about the fact that spending all my spare time with Bella meant that I'd been neglecting Gabe.
"I'm so sorry, Gabriel, I never meant it that way. I just needed an escape from that life..."
"And you didn't think I wanted that too? You didn't think maybe I would have liked to have gotten to be a kid once in a while? Sit and eat ice cream and play games with my friends instead of trying to pacify Dad? Possibly spend a weekend watching TV instead of busting my ass working to bring in money to keep food in our tummies? What about me? I was just a kid too!!!"
For the first time ever, I see the hurt in his eyes. I can see tears threatening to fall, but somehow he holds them back.
Jumping up, almost throwing myself against him, I hug him tightly. So tightly that the chair is barely balancing with the extra weight, but I refuse to let go. "I'm so sorry, Gabe. I never meant to make you feel like that." I sob. I hear him let out a single whimper too and think I feel a tear drop onto my shoulder, but by the time I pull back, there's no sign of any tears on his face.
Pushing me back suddenly, he walks away, mumbling something about needing another drink. I know his beer is almost full, but decided not to push it. Gabe hates being vulnerable, so probably needs a moment to himself.
I sit in silence for almost fifteen minutes before deciding to go look for him. When I do, he's sitting on the kitchen floor, drinking vodka straight out of the bottle.
"What the fuck, Gabe?" I snap, taking the bottle out of his hands. I don't know how full it was when he started, but it's almost empty already.How has he drank so much already?
I sit myself down beside him, but don't say a word.
"Do you love her?" he finally breaks the silence by asking.
